Tuesday, July 31, 2007
It's official: Dotel to Atlanta for Davies
I think we have a new favorite to win the NL East. Talk about going for broke though... giving up the four best prospects in your organization -- that includes Jarrod Saltalamacchia (No. 1) and Kyle Davies (top 5, anyway) -- with more left to be traded (for Arroyo) qualifies.
I think we'll be seeing Davies, currently in Triple A, in a Kansas City Royals uniform within the week.
As the clock ticks...
On the field last night, Gil Meche -- Dayton's prize signing and one that, for the moment, gives our blog's namesake currency to acquire whatever pitcher he wants with little fear of reproach -- threw seven innings of very good ball, only to be trumped by Scott Baker, who tossed eight innings of superb ball. Take out the Royals' 4th and Baker has a no-hitter. As is, the Royals' four-game winning streak is finis, though they remain over .500 for the month of July. Three games over .500, actually, so tonight's game holds meaning only as games normally hold meaning, in and of itself. Whatever happens, the Royals are assured of their second consecutive winning month, this after not having one since July 2003. Think about that for a moment.
Monday, July 30, 2007
The Octavio Dotel live-blog
UPDATE: Word via the Kansas City Star is that the Royals will get Kyle Davies in the deal. The Teixeira trade needs to be finalized first though. Nice job by Dayton Moore. Apparently he preferred Davies over Wladimir Balentien.
Dear god yes, if this is true...
The authority that is Royals Authority predicts Dotel will be moving to the Dodgers for Major League-ready second baseman Tony Abreu. I'd be ecstatic if this were true. According to Clark Fosler -- and I think this is speculation on his part, but I'd trust him -- the Dodgers "seem" (his italics) to be willing to part with shortstop Chin-Lung Hu. You know how I feel about him -- my first choice.
Of course, now that Kyle Davies is in the discussion, all that changes.
8:10 p.m. CTNot quite Crunch Time, but this is when Dayton Moore earns both his money and validates the title of this blog. Folks commenting on the KC Star Dotel-for-Davies story seem to be discouraged about Davies's record -- 4-8 with a 5.76 ERA in 17 starts -- but this is where someone has to step in and give the "don't worry about the numbers, look at his potential" spiel. He's 23, which is very young, and probably got called up before he was completely ready in '05 (when the Braves desperately needed all their rookies to produce), ala Greinke in '03, and needs maybe a half-year of seasoning in the minors before he can take the place in a Major League rotation. He was known as a control pitcher early on, but he's had to tweak his delivery and is still trying to find his form. Once he gets it, he'll be a Brian Bannister type, but with better stuff.
Here's an excerpt from the KC Star story:
The holdup appears to be on the Braves’ end and concerns their ability to work out final details on a trade earlier in the day in which they acquired first baseman Mark Teixeira and reliever Ron Mahay from the Rangers for catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia, shortstop Elvis Andrus and two pitching prospects.
The non-waiver trading deadline is 3 p.m. Tuesday. The Royals continue to discuss trade possibilities with other club in case talks break down with the Braves.
The Dodgers, Indians and Mariners have strongly pursued Dotel, who entered Monday’s series opener against the Twins at 2-1 with a 3.91 ERA and 11 saves in 14 opportunities since returning May 22 from the disabled list.
[David DeJesus made a fantastic catch running wall-wards in center to rob Torii Hunter of an RBI-double.]
8:40 p.m. CTI'm guessing Dayton Moore, sly fox he, is playing teams off one another, namely the Dodgers, Indians and Braves. Mostly the Dodgers and Braves, who will be competing for the same pennant.
A second update out of MLB Trade Rumors (link above) says "based on this MLB.com report and reports from Sports Radio 810, the deal is not complete and Davies for Dotel was simply an offer." No word on which end the offer came from. There doesn't seem to be any scoops in that MLB.com report, so for now, we'll be watching Bob Dutton and Ken Rosenthal, who's fast becoming as synonymous with trade rumors as Kurt Cobain is to grunge.
9 p.m. CTDayton Moore probably isn't watching tonight's game, which is too bad because Gil Meche -- to whom he will be inextricably linked for the foreseeable future -- has six strikeouts through seven crisp innings. Unfortunately, the Royals are down 2-1 in the top of the 8th against Scott Baker, who's tossing a two-hitter.
Trade talk grapevine dry for the moment. The Braves, before all is said and done, could be acquiring a power-hitting first baseman (Mark Teixeira), an effective reliever (Octavio Dotel) and a No. 4 starter (Bronson Arroyo). Of course, they're more or less mortgaging their future, especially since they're sending their top three prospects -- including catcher/1b Jarrod Saltalamacchia, who's not that much less productive than Teixeira, if the team would just give him his deserved playing time -- to Texas.
9:14 p.m. CTPeter Gammons just reported on Baseball Tonight that Teixeira's physical is tomorrow, which might mean, if Dayton really wants Davies, that the Davies-Dotel deal won't be done tonight. That's a lot of D's.
14 hours, 37 minutes till trade deadline.
9:24 p.m. CTDEVELOPMENTS! DEVELOPMENTS!
But first I'd like to point out that Peter Gammons was on his way to explaining Kyle Davies to a national TV audience when Karl Ravech interrupted him with the question, "Would Bob Wickman still be the closer?" Boooo.
MLB Trade Rumors:
ESPN's Buster Olney is reporting that the Dodgers and Yankees are still talking about swapping reliever Scott Proctor and infielder Wilson Betemit. Betemit would act as A-Rod insurance and could even help out at first base this year. Proctor might be the reliever the Dodgers are craving. Keep in mind, though, that the Dodgers still might be able to sneak in a last-minute offer for Octavio Dotel.
This is bad news. In my heart of hearts, I'm holding out for Chin-Lung Hu, or Tony Abreu, or any of three other Dodgers prospects. Now it's also reported that the Dodgers might be shopping some of their youngsters for Joe Blanton. Terrible.
Gotta sneak this in: The Minnesota Timberwolves have traded Kevin Garnett to the Boston Celtics for -- reportedly -- forward Al Jefferson, guard Sebastian Telfair, swingman Gerald Green, forward Ryan Gomes and center Theo Ratliff. Ray Allen, Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett on the same team equals Eastern Conference championship. Of course, the window of time is minuscule.
10 p.m. CTI like Kyle Davies. But can you blame any fan for looking at Wladimir Balentien's Triple A stats and not feel like Dayton's being a little shortsighted for passing up on him? The offer was there, according to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. One can't help but question whether Dayton's too enamored with what he knows -- Davies, from the Braves -- over what he doesn't. Seattle's fans seem to believe Balentien is the next coming of Manny Ramirez.
From U.S.S. Mariner:
Update: Octavio Dotel to Atlanta for Kyle Davies. Winner? The Mariners. Thank you, John Schuerholz, for saving us from ourselves.
That post has received 197 responses, and counting. Crazy.
11:22 p.m. CTMLB Trade Rumors:
UPDATE 3: Mark Bowman of MLB.com says the teams are not close to finalizing a deal and John Schuerholz has yet to enter into serious negotiations.
Trust no one. From the MLB.com story:
While the Braves have made inquiries about Royals closer Octavio Dotel, an American League source said there is no validity to reports that have indicated the teams are close to finalizing a deal.In fact, this high-ranking official said Braves general manager John Schuerholz won't be able to get into any serious trade talks until the deal to bring Texas' Mark Teixeira and Ron Mahay to Atlanta is finalized on the Rangers' end. It's expected to be completed on Tuesday after all necessary medical reviews are completed.
Nothing new there. Now's probably a good time to sign off for the night. In conclusion: Dotel may be traded to the Braves, who may or may not need him in 14 hours, or the Dodgers, who may or may not meet Dayton's asking price, or the Mariners, who have offered -- maybe -- or the Indians, who may or may not still matter. My money's on Balentien. I still prefer either Hu or Abreu. No clue whether any of them are even close to actually being on the table.
ru·mor (rōō'mər), n.: a story or statement in general circulation without confirmation or certainty as to facts; unverified information received from another; hearsay.
One more thing: I think Dodgers GM Ned Colletti is on the brink of getting fleeced by Billy Beane. Just a hunch. That is all.
Denny Matthews, Octavio Dotel and the Chicago Cubs
Denny Matthews, as Sam Mellinger of the Kansas City Star reports, gave a knockout speech at the Hall of Fame ceremony yesterday. He was greeted with a standing ovation, spoke for 11 minutes, told several funny stories and choked up twice. Here's the KC Star story. The comments section is worth looking at.
On another front, check out some of the names bandied about in trade talks for Octavio Dotel. Tony Abreu, Chin-Lung Hu, Franklin Gutierrez, Ben Francisco, Wladimir Balentien (yes, with a W), Adam Jones. I don't know how close Dayton is to getting any of those guys -- not very would be my guess -- but this kind of (wild and completely unrealistic?) speculation over blue-chip prospects makes this time of year feel like spring all over again. I'm praying to the baseball gods to protect Dotel from injury before the 3 p.m. trading deadline tomorrow.
UPDATE: Just hit the refresh button on this website and learned that the Braves are suddenly the front-runners for Dotel. Does this really surprise anybody, that Dayton, a former assistant to Braves GM John Schuerholtz, would be dealing with the organization he knows best?
Meanwhile, in honor of the Cubs, who are just a half game back of the Brewers in the NL Central and seem intent on never losing again, I present this excellent Sports Illustrated feature. Excerpt:
Now in their 99th year of rebuilding, the Cubs' losing is just a few rungs below death and taxes on the inevitability scale. But having perfected the art of defeat, losing in tragicomic ways that challenge the mind and numb the soul, maybe at long last, to paraphrase scripture, the lion will lie down with the billy goat and the Cubs will do something as delightful as win the...No, the Cubs don't need to be burdened by another jinx. But they are looming, within 3 1?2 games of the Milwaukee Brewers in the NL Central, despite a 3-0 loss to the Arizona Diamondbacks on Sunday that left the Cubs with a 7-3 mark for the homestand. And even the players are beginning to believe that maybe, just maybe, It Could Happen. "It has to, it's inevitable," says Cubs shortstop Ryan Theriot. "We keep playing hard, sooner or later it'll happen."
K was so inspired by this story that he sent me a 650-word email, excerpted below (my ellipses), and made "It's Gonna Happen" his g-chat profile liner.
...the thing that i like most about the cubs this year (and the article does a pretty good job of reflecting this) is that there's not a huge feel good warm and fuzzy outporing right now. the cubs as an organization are not pushing the hokey "believe" slogan, of which i still have a blue rubber lance bracelet. they are not trying to get you caught up in feel good, warm your heart, magical shit that they did with dusty (remember when he sprinkled some unnamed dust on the infield in september 2003?). they are just good, and playing good, no nonsense baseball.... they know it. the fans know it. the brewers know it, and are crapping their jocks right now thinking about it. it's gonna happen. it's happening.
Let's take a vote: What's the worst way for the Cubs to lose it this year?
a) Injuries take out their star players, leaving Koyie Hill as the team's cleanup hitter.
b) Carlos Zambrano decides his true calling is in the UFC and quits baseball just before the Division Series.
c) Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez fight to the death, with the winner suffering incapacitating injuries.
d) Kerry Wood, returning from injury, loses on purpose in order to get back at the organization that ruined his career.
e) Jacque Jones, finally entering the game in the 18th inning of Game 7 of the NLCS, commits three outfield errors that allow the go-ahead run to score, then strikes out in the bottom half of the inning to end the season.
f) A meteor falls on Chicago, wiping out all inhabitants just as the Cubs, 100-game winners, are about to sweep their NLCS opponent.
g) Anything involving blown saves, failure to lay down sacrifice bunts, shortstop errors on easy double-play balls and fan interference.
George Brett on Barry Bonds
Here's what Kansas City's adopted son, George Brett, had to say about the most inglorious slugger of our times as part of SportsCenter's Sunday Conversation:
Nobody thinks it's for real. I mean, everybody I talk to. Not here. Friends, other people, you know. Obviously everywhere he goes on the road people don't think it's real. Because he gets booed everywhere. You would think with a guy like that, with no controversy, he'd get cheered.
Mr. Brett is a well-spoken man.
POSTSCRIPT 1: Congratulatons, Tony Gwynn and Cal Ripken Jr. And you, Emil Brown, for just being yourself.
POSTSCRIPT 2: You want a feel-good sports story that doesn't make you feel good? Iraq soccer just won 1-0 win in the Asian Cup championship game when, hours into the celebration, four died in celebratory gunfire, and suicide bombers took advantage of the momentarily unifying victory to kill at least 50*. You think either Tom Friend or Tom Rinaldi will want to touch this story now that it's been tainted by the real world?
POSTSCRIPT 3: BIG congratulations to longtime Royals broadcaster Denny Matthews. It's a well-deserved Hall of Fame bid, Mr. Matthews.
*Thanks to reader bfos for pointing out that the suicide bombings happened after the semifinals, which makes the shooting of guns after the next match all the more ridiculous.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Shawn Peters sucks
Someone will bring in Dotel to set up or even close in a pinch, and K.C. will have to choose another reliever to close the door on the rare occasions when it actually wins. [HT: Lee Warren]
I commented, and was encouraged to see I wasn't the first Royals fan to do so. Called the guy a hack. Not my most creative effort, but beach + boatloads of beer sometimes will disable your brain.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Count me among those standing amid the plaudits
Yankees' runs, last seven games:
7
17
21
9
9
7
0 (!!!!!!!!)
Who could have guessed, especially after Melky Cabrera's double to start the game? But De La Rosa struck out Derek Jeter, Alex Gordon made a great sprawling stop at first, Buddy Bell wisely chose to walk A-Rod and the shutout was well on its way.
Perhaps energized by the fourth straight large crowd and desperate to prove they are not in fact last year's team, the Royals turned in one of their better all-around performances of the year. They had 10 hits, eight of which went for extra bases, which is kind of amazing when you think about it. Gordon almost hit for the cycle -- he needed a measly single -- and Tony Pena Jr. drew a walk, the first time in 244 plate appearances. He also hit a triple. Apt for its hustling ways, the team had three triples, raising its Major League-leading total to 33, four ahead of Detroit.
Appropriately, Gordon recorded the assist on the final out -- he made a diving stop, this time at third, and nailed the baserunner. So if you're keeping score at home: 3 for 4 with a double, triple and home run, two defensive gems and a standing ovation. You've arrived, kid.
And hopefully these Royals are here to stay.
POSTSCRIPT 1: David DeJesus got hit with another pitch. "Once again a Royal batter is hit by a pitch," Paul Splittorff said. Indeed. That makes 61 times a Royal has been plunked this season, which is five more than the Phillies.
POSTSCRIPT 2: Octavio Dotel really likes Kansas City.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Damn Yankees
You're a hero cause you've got heartMeche needed to bail out the bullpen, and he did, to his personal detriment. That's called taking one for the team.
You've got heart-
You've got heart-

via FanHouse
This one hurts though. Ace on the mound up against a beatable Mike Mussina, and the bats go cold. The Yankees always seem to have old farts who just know how to handle young batters. And their offense has looked like the second coming of Alaric's barbarian hordes recently, averaging 11.7 runs in their last six games and sacking all that's precious and worth protecting. 11.7 runs per game is ridiculous.
One last chance to avoid a demoralizing four-game sweep tonight when Jorge De La Rosa takes on the pride of Hanshin, Kei Igawa.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
For you Kansas City Harry Potter fans out there
This while Sirius Black... er, Gil Meche... attempts to overcome his poor run support to defeat the vaunted Yankees. Keep battling, Gil. Remember, A-Rod is just another human being trying to fill his hollowness with money and massively impressive home runs.Dayton Moore = Albus Dumbledore
Like Dumbledore, Moore works mostly behind the scenes, but always seems to be thinking several steps ahead, and despite the occasional mistake (having Snape teach Harry Occlumency; trading away Ruben Gotay), both have an uncanny knack for doing the right thing. Certainly, the level of confidence and devotion that some Royals fans have in Moore at the moment rivals Harry’s proclamation that he was "Dumbledore’s man through and through."
UPDATE: Meche just gave up a home run to A-Rod, mere seconds after I typed, "A-Rod is just another human being trying to fill his hollowness with money and massively impressive home runs." Now Hideki Matsui's got one. What a ridiculous team, these Yankees.
An open letter to Scott Elarton
We had the largest crowd here at the K since Opening Day, and, let's face it, you kinda let 'em down. Aw, hell, why mince words? Seven earned runs in less than two innings is an embarrassment. We'll shoulder some blame, of course. This organization never should have used you as a sacrificial lamb. We thought... I don't know, that maybe you were a reborn Leonidas ready to find off wolves with a spear and a loincloth. In retrospect, that was probably foolish thinking on our part. But that doesn't excuse the fact that you allowed seven runs and taxed our bullpen and basically gave us no chance to win -- and really, we were all only asking for a chance.
Anyway, everyone's turned against you, Scotty, some begrudgingly, others flagrantly. Brett's Royals calls you "terrible" and said you gave away the game. Again, we'll shoulder some blame for that, but... you did last only five outs. Royals Authority says your career's over, and you know what? I hope not. I hope you surface again someplace else where you can be happy and productive. But things do end, you know. Joe Posnanski -- who genuinely likes you -- thinks you shouldn't be allowed another start. You've touched off another rant over at Royals Review. RTC Talk is comparing you to a stork. So on and so forth.
Scotty, it's over. Your career as a Kansas City Royal is over. I don't know what your future holds, but I do know a 10.46 ERA and 2.00 WHIP isn't going to cut it. Not here.
But hey... I hear the Washington Nationals could always use another arm.
UPDATE: The Royals have released Scott Elarton.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Be afraid
Here's why.

Hoping to avoid this fate.
Elarton will be opposed by Chien-Ming Wang, the pride of Taiwan.
POSTSCRIPT: Read this SI.com article by John Donovan (via Royal Reflections). C'mon, Brian Sabean disciple Ned Colletti: give up Chin-lung Hu. Your former boss and all his friends would be proud.
Roger Clemens, we won't miss you
Not that this should come as a surprise. Strikeout pitchers who don't retire in their prime almost always hit a wall just before hanging up their spikes. Check out the numbers on Nolan Ryan, Steve Carlton, Bert Blyleven, Tom Seaver and Don Sutton, who top the career strikeouts list for inactive players:
(Career K rate --> K rate in final season)
Ryan 9.9 --> 6.4
Carlton 8.1 --> 5.4
Blyleven 7.5 --> 5.7
Seaver 7.4 --> 6.5
Sutton 6.3 --> 4.7
This is all very obvious, nothing inspiring about it. But what this means -- truly, finally -- is that Clemens has reached the end of his road. This is a good thing, because no baseball player in the last 10 years has manipulated his image quite like Clemens and received the effusive praise and orgasmic radio raves quite like he has. Frankly, I'm tired of it. And I know deep down in some Yankees fans, they're tired of it, too. How Clemens is perceived by fans at large is almost entirely the result of a concerted effort on his part to mold himself into the idea of the genteel though ultra-competitive flame-throwing maverick, the romanticized all-American baseball cowboy. He is aware of his legend and steers its manifestation in a creepy, unnatural, Johnny Darko-type way. The media, of course, has lapped this up. They fawn over him like he's a saint, when in fact he's kind of prissy, kind of a prick and, in all likelihood, kind of a steroids user. Everything about him screams fake, from his contrived understatedness (when are people going to call him inarticulate?) to his wife's website.
That said, he can still be tough on young teams, and his domination of the Royals continued last night with a 9-2 win (it was much closer than that until the Yanks scored five in the 8th, but really, it wasn't that close). He's won 10 straight decisions against Kansas City, having last lost in 1996.
Johnny Damon was the YES Network's postgame interview. He said some good things about Kansas City -- complimented the barbecue -- said he enjoys coming back to play, but noted that "they had to do what they had to do," referring to the trade for Roberto Hernandez and Angel Berroa. That seems rather unfair to the Royals, since everyone then and now knew he had no intention of letting the small-market team sign him at a fair and affordable price. No sense dwelling on it now, of course.
POSTSCRIPT: Mike Coolbaugh: what an unbelievably freaky incident. Lee Warren offers some thoughtful words.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Sunday, July 22, 2007
A return home to welcome the big bad Yankees
This afternoon, I thoroughly enjoyed Kay and the wonderful Joe Girardi's extended criticism of B.J. Upton for playing too deep in center field in the 8th inning... when the Yankees led 21-3. After the inning, Kay said dryly, "At the end of 8, the Yankees with three touchdowns, Tampa Bay with a field goal."
Who pissed off the Yankees? In their last two games they've scored 38 runs on 45 hits. A-Rod hit about 30 home runs over the weekend, Hideki Matsui decided he was Godzilla all over again, even a guy named Shelley decided to get into the act. Suddenly the men in pinstripes are five games over .500 and just seven back in the loss column to the Saux.
Alas, they're about to meet their end in a vaunted little place called KC. It's one thing to beat up on the lowly Devil Rays; it's a whole new ballgame around these parts. The town's welcoming back a team that just went 5-4 against the Indians (very good), Red Sox (awesome) and Tigers (scary), so the Yanks really don't seem like that big a deal. In fact, one might say -- even with old man Roger taking the mound --- that the story here isn't the Yankees at all; it's the Royals, who are positively surging.
At the beginning of the season, the Royals couldn't win a series to save their fanny; now they're polishing off the likes of Boston and Detroit -- today, in methodical fashion, Brian Bannister bottled up the Tigers and their league-leading offense (in terms of batting average and runs scored) while the bats came through with more than enough runs. And the best part? Coupled with the White Sox' loss, the Royals are now tied for fourth in the AL Central. Officially. This is a small victory, yet it feels significant, and good.
In the 70s and 80s, Royals-Yankees was one of the best rivalries in baseball. It can be again: small market vs. ginormous market, humility vs. megalomania, good vs. evil, pretty girls vs. skanks, Winstead's vs. Generic Pizza Store No. 5,248... you get the picture of the clashing dichotomies. Let's go, Royals! Win one for the Midwest!
POSTSCRIPT: According to the YES guys, Major League Baseball had the second highest attendance total in the history of the sport Saturday, officially at 639,528 in 16 games (No. 1 if we go by average, beating the record set on July 3, 1999). The Yankees contributed with about 100,000. Overall, attendance is up 4.7 percent from this time last year. Knowing that, I have this to say, for everyone in Kansas City who doesn't have a ticket to Monday night's game: WHY NOT??? If you have any doubt about whether you should do anything -- this is the best advice I ever give, by the way -- just do it. You'll have nothing to regret.
The Soria jinx, redux

The first game he pitches after that: 1.1 innings, 3 hits, 2 ER (and takes the loss)
I should've known better.

Saturday, July 21, 2007
Kid Billy and Master Meche: UNITE


in...
CAST
Gil Meche.............GILGAMESH
Billy Butler...........KID BILLY
Alex Gordon.........HIS HOLINESS THE SAVIOR
Ryan Shealy.........BIG SULLY
Joakim Soria........SENOR SMOKE
Dayton Moore.....KING HERO
Kenny Rogers......THE GAMBLER
Gary Sheffield......CREAM SAUCE
Maggio Ordonez...VORPTRON
Ivan Rodriguez....SLIM FAST MAN
Jim Leyland..........Himself
Intro -- MASTER MECHE: I am Gilgamesh, Prince of Eternia, defender of the secrets of Bluecrown. This is Kid Billy, my fearless friend. Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword and said, BY THE POWER OF BLUECROWN! I AM THE POWER! Kid Billy became Big Donkey, and I became Master Meche, the most powerful man in the universe. Only three others share this secret. Our friend HIS HOLINESS THE SAVIOR, BIG SULLY and SENOR SMOKE. Together we defend Castle Bluecrown from the evil forces of JIM LEYLAND [who chuckles wickedly].
Scene 1: On a barren dustfield surrounded by outdated doodads, punctured tires and a fortress of scrap metal -- Detroit -- Jim Leyland sits on a throne in the hollowed-out skeleton of a giant cardinal.
LEYLAND: Heheheh... dumb as you may be, old rogue, even you cannot not know what is on this piece of paper... the Secret Weapon of Sure Defeat for the Other Team! It is a thing of beauty, isn't it? Heheheh. Soon it will be unleashed and I shall rule the universe. Muahahahah.
THE GAMBLER: [Incomprehensible noises] If you unleash it, hrrrrrr, you could defeat Bluecrown at last.
LEYLAND: That's the point, nitwit. Go, summon my forces.
THE GAMBLER: [Incomprehensible noises] As you wish, Leyland.
[Cue evil music]
LEYLAND: I'll call our warriors from around the universe and bring them here to Detroit. Cream Sauce, whose knowledge of creams and clears is rivaled only by his love of flaxseed ointments, I, Leyland, command you.... Vorptron, who can see expert projections and defy them, I will need your mighty strength.... Slim Fast Man, previously known as Fat Face -- return as you are, and bring your secret weight-loss formula. Together we can take down Bluecrown and crush Master Meche once and for all.
One by one they are beamed into Detroit.
CREAM SAUCE: Why have you brought us here?
LEYLAND: To crush Bluewave and reclaim my spot as ruler of the universe! Heheheheheh.
VORPTRON: You have said that before, Leyland, yet Master Meche and his friends always find a way to trick us.
LEYLAND: But this time, I have this... the Secret Weapon of Sure Defeat for the Other Team [with echo]!
SLIM FAST MAN: Can I have some of that?
LEYLAND: Fool! It does not make you stronger. The Secret Weapon of Sure Defeat for the Other Team is a very dangerous thing. You must be aware of it, my minions. In time I will unleash it, heheheh. In time, Master Meche and his precious friends will feel what it's like ... TO LOSE! [Laughs diabolically]
Scene 2: At Castle Bluecrown, Gilgamesh is enjoying the company of his friends when he realizes the castle is under siege. After beating back the forces of evil, he decides the only proper procedure is to take the battle to the enemy. He and his friends pack for Detroit.
MASTER MECHE: By the power of Bluecrown! I AM THE POWER!
[Music plays to the tune of "Magic Dance" -- You remind me of the Master. / (What Master?) / The Master with the power. / (What power?) / The power of the Meche. / [The mess?] / The Meche. / (Mess what?) / Remind me of the Master.]
Scene 3: Detroit. Comerica Park, scene of the standoff for all time. The two sides walk to opposite sides of the base lines and glare at each other.
VORPTRON: I'm scared, Leyland.
LEYLAND, staring fiercely. Vorptron vanishes into thin air.
GAMBLER: Leyland! Hrrrrrrrrr. I'm so mad I could punch a camera. Hrrrrr.
LEYLAND: Shut up, Gambler. We didn't need him. He'll disappear in autumn anyway.
CREAM SAUCE: Look out!
His Holiness the Savior and Big Sully double-team Cream Sauce and manage to puncture a hole in his leg. His juices spill out, and he withers into the dirt. The Gambler, scared, attacks Master Meche by mistake.
MASTER MECHE: I would hedge that bet next time, Gambler.
The Gambler is twirled around Master Meche's head like a homer hanky and tossed into oblivion. Leyland is stupified, but only momentarily. He pulls out his piece of paper.
LEYLAND: Master Meche, you have done valiantly, and your friends have been better than expected. But this is where your fun ends, heheheh.
MASTER MECHE: Don't call me a friend, skull brain.
At this moment, King Hero arrives on the scene.
LEYLAND: Ah, look who decided to arrive. Just in time, Hero. Just in time.
KING HERO: I don't know what you think you know, but your time is up, Leyland. Your crude approach is a thing of the past. This game has passed you by, and it is time you relinquish the throne of your supposed empire, for it is occupied by ghosts, and you are but a relic.
LEYLAND: Why don't you have a look at this!
Leyland opens up his piece of paper, the Secret Weapon of Sure Defeat for the Other Team. King Hero looks at it and is frozen. Big Sully drops down, injured. His Holiness the Savior shields his eyes. Master Meche's mouth drops.
MASTER MECHE: What in the...!
The name Scott Elarton falls from the piece of paper. Leyland laughs, sadistically. King Hero, catatonic, makes a silent plea to his prince for help. Leyland continues laughing.
...to be continued
POSTSCRIPT: Go here to watch a complete episode of He-Man and Masters of the Universe. Remember, He-Man is Gil Meche's favorite hero, and that's awesome.
Scott Boras, you son of a bitch
A lot of people have said that Scott Boras is ruining baseball, but usually when they say it they mean it in the economic, "big market vs. small market" kind of way. But Peter Gammons, perhaps the most respected baseball writer in the game, thinks Boras' impact has been far more tangible, that he's literally making players worse.
Gammons speaking now, from a radio interview:
He needs to be coached by people here and not by the people in California at the Scott Boras clinics. It's the same thing with [Luke] Hochevar last year when Kansas City gave him all that money, they gave him $4 million as a four-seam, curveball guy and they changed him into a two-seamer, slider guy this winter. He's got a 5.80 ERA at Double A which for $4 million doesn't hack it. With these agents there's too much tinkering. Agents don't know more about baseball than the people that coach it.
I blogged about this when the Royals selected Mike Moustakas, and folks like JoePa have been on it, too, but this bears repeating: Scott Boras is a devil. Maybe not the Devil, but one of his agents -- no pun intended, I mean this rather literally. Now, none of us are trying to decant the spirit of the man-devil into some quintessent gruel to
represent all things evil -- hey, he might be a nice guy, or maybe he's even half as interesting as Ari Gold, which would make him No. 1 in my book -- but one can't help feeling, after reading any piece on Scott Boras, that the man lives by a different moral code than the rest of us, which is to say no moral code, and that he's driven by a sort of nefarious impulse to bring Milton's Pandæmonium to Earth, like Beelzebub. That's him pictured to the right, that bloodsucking piece of s...Anyway. Just remember, all you kids thinking about striking it rich: you sleep with a devil and you're going to Hell. That simple, really.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
The Soria Scoreless Innings Watch
Things couldn’t be going much better these days for Royals rookie reliever Joakim Soria. A happy newlywed — today marks nine days — and absolute domination out of the bullpen.Soria extended his scoreless streak to 19 1/3 innings Wednesday night by working 1 1/3 innings in a 6-5 victory over the Red Sox at Fenway Park.
That moved Soria to within three innings of the club record for consecutive scoreless innings by a reliever, held by Rusty Meacham at 22 1/3 in 1994. The overall club record for scoreless innings is 33 by Kevin Appier in 1993.
The streak nearly ended last night when Coco Crisp barely missed a game-tying home run, but, as they say, close only counts in horseshoes and the Tour de France, where the winner will probably test positive for EPO and be stripped of the title.
Scoreless innings needed: THREE
What they're saying now
BEFORESurviving Grady
C'mon, Julian, please win this game for us. A series loss to the Royals? I can't take it, man. I know you've struggled lately, but we're facing the Royals. Yes, those Royals. You should be able to bowl every ball to first and still walk away with a 10 run lead.
AFTER (great link to YFSF)
This Royals pen has been one of the best in the Majors lately, and if you're not convinced of how tough a late-inning win is even against lesser bullpens, check out this post from YFSF from a couple days ago. If they're that hard to come by, expecting them against the likes of Dotel and Soria (the way they've been pitching lately) is almost entirely wishful thinking.
BEFORE (click on this link. Just do it, even if you a) don't like Jerry Remy, or b) like Bill Simmons)The Soxaholix (excellent all around)
Tonight, it's more fun with the Royals. Anything less than three wins in this series and I swear, I might just take the name of Dana Kiecker in vain.
AFTER
This is the sort of situation we should be taking advantage of. We should be marking these games as Ws before anyone even steps on the field; hell, they're the sort of games the players should just agree to not actually play, and instead go hang down at Daisy Buchanans. This is the team we should be beating soundly, followed-up by Lowell and Youk photocopying each other's asses and mailing 'em to the players' homes.
A Red Sox Fan From Pinstripe Territory
BEFOREDamn it feels good to be a gangster.
Sox trail KC, 2-0. We better not lose a series to the Royals.
AFTER (look, a tmesis!)
Absolutely unbe-fucking-lievable.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Bullpen beats Red Sox in spite of Odalis Perez
--IDWT, 7/13/07
Odalis Perez's line tonight: (W, 5-8) 5 IP, 5 ER, 2 BB, 2 K
And then there are those who went after him:
David Riske (H, 10) -- 1.0 IP, 0 H, 0 R
Jimmy Gobble (H, 8) -- 0.2 IP, 1 H, 0 R
Joakim Soria (H, 9) -- 1.1 IP, 1 H, 0 R
Octavio Dotel (S, 10) -- 1.0 IP, 1 H, 0 R
Perez almost didn't make it through five, but once he did, I sent this series of messages to a Red Sox fan:
Me: yes!
Me: royals lead!
Me: it's over!
Me: bullpen taking over
That's how good it's been: I get positively cocky when Buddy Bell goes to the pen. And why not? In three games against the Red Sox, who lead the Majors in on-base percentage and are sixth in runs scored, Royals relievers threw 11 innings and gave up all of two meaningless runs, from Joel Peralta.
Furthermore, the Royals aren't just good; they're deep. So deep, in fact, that Dayton Moore can execute this series of moves within two days and not blink twice:
-- Neal Musser, who threw two innings of shutout ball on Monday, gets replaced on the roster by Leo Nunez.
-- Nunez, who threw four innings on Tuesday and had just one run charged to him, gets replaced by Ryan Braun.
-- Braun's last 11 games in Omaha: 16.2 innings, seven hits, four walks, 16 strikeouts, 0.00 ERA.
Sure enough, true to my words, it was over (a scary image of Manny Ramirez hitting a walk-off two-run home run did cross my mind, however; and the Red Sox, putting their smarts on display, obviously watched tape of Soria after last night's game, because they were actually able to get the bat on a few of Soria's curveballs). Royals 6, Red Sox 5. The season series is even at three games apiece.
And that sound in Fenway is the sound of silence, sweet for the victors. Incidentally -- panic, Sox Nation, panic! -- the Yankees are just seven games back.
POSTSCRIPT: If you get a chance, check out The Royal Treatment's comprehensive catching-up-with post featuring former Royals. Impressive work.
POSTSCRIPT 2: Don't look now, but Kid Butler's been mashing of late.
In praise of the bullpen
This, I imagine, must have come as somewhat of a shock. The feeling of optimism, that is, unbidden and uncanny. Playing against a team with the fourth best home record in baseball, at a site where earlier in the year the Orioles lost a 5-0 lead in the 9th even after recording the first out, any sane thinking being can be excused from thinking, The Royals couldn't possibly pull this out with its bullpen, could they?
Ah, but could they ever.
"If we can get to our bullpen and we can line them up the way they need to be lined up, then we're pretty good," Buddy Bell said after his team's 9-3 victory.

Indeed, these aren't yesteryear's relievers. Lefty specialist Jimmy Gobble -- who has completely rerouted his career for the better after learning his sweeping sidearm delivery -- came in and faced three batters, retiring J.D. Drew on a fly-out and making a fool out of David Ortiz. Then Zack Greinke got the chance to show off some of this stuff -- still starter material, but the Royals can afford to keep him in the bullpen through the summer -- before giving way to Joel Peralta, who struggled but was bailed out by Senor Smoke. By this point, the Royals had blown the game open -- five crisp, nothing-cheap-about-em runs in the 7th and another in the 8th -- but if there was any doubt left about the game's outcome, Soria put it to rest. He faced four batters and sent three of them back to the dugout scratching their heads, victims of absolutely unhittable curveballs that spanned the panoply of nasty. Seventeen pitches, 12 strikes -- so dominating that our friends at Royals Review were compelled to speculate (rightly) that Soria is the Royals' best reliever in many a-years.
Of course, it's not just him. The Royals have always had one guy who could be counted on -- to give you an idea of how wanting the bullpen has been, this role was once filled by Curtis Leskanic -- but this year the entire relief corps has answered the bell when called upon. As if you couldn't tell -- Royals fans: notice the hair you haven't pulled out, the curse-laden howls undelivered, the fist-shaped holes absent from your house's plaster -- here are some stats to prove it:
- The Royals' bullpen ERA, at 3.78, is sixth best in the AL and 0.40 better than the league average. That doesn't sound spectacular until you consider how they've fared in the last seven years:
(ERA, league average, AL rank)
2006: 5.36, 4.21, LAST
2005: 4.70, 3.96, 11th
2004: 4.50, 4.23, 10th
2003: 5.55, 4.23, LAST
2002: 5.27, 4.21, LAST
2001: 4.87, 4.48, 11th
2000: 5.57, 4.60, 13th
The abrupt turnaround from having one of the consistently worst bullpens in the league to one of the best is nothing short of remarkable. For seven years -- seven long, miserable years... and frankly, it could well extend further back -- we endured countless blown leads and agonizing late innings that made us want to start fistfights. Now, suddenly, the bullpen's stocked with great arms, some that are legitimately dominant (let's thank the stars for Soria). It's almost weird to think that guys like Soria, Dotel and Riske are wearing the same uniform previously occupied by the likes of Sean Lowe, Albie Lopez and Dan Reichert. Let's hope we never relive those dark days again. - Using component ERA, which is ERA based on hits and walks allowed rather than runs, the Royals rank even higher: No. 2 in the league, behind only the Red Sox.
- The best way for relievers to get out of a jam is by the strikeout, and no bullpen in the AL has totaled more strikeouts than the Royals', who have 271. Adjusted for innings pitched -- Royals rank No. 2 in that category, by the way -- they're No. 3, behind only the Indians and Blue Jays.
What's the difference between a reliable bullpen and a Royals bullpen from 2000-06? Years of one's life, saved from stress and sorrow. Seriously.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Boston Globe's article on the Kansas City Royals
"Royals bank on futures market: young stars start to pay dividends" is a fine enough headline/subhead -- made my heart jump a beat, even, in anticipation of a thought-provoking read -- but the story proves remarkably thin. Three quotes from Buddy Bell and three from Emil Brown are all you'll find that you can't anywhere else.
Yes, Emil Brown is quoted three times.
"[It's good] to see that they are willing to try to put something together, to put this team on a fast-forward track rather than slowly getting better," said Brown, who has been with the Royals since 2005.
"They want to get better right now, which is good. So that's a step in the right direction."
Actually, everything about that quote is wrong. Dayton's M.O. since day 1 has been to avoid the "fast-forward track." Thing is, though, I can't imagine Brown was saying what it looks like he's saying, that the front office is in it for the quick fix; you just think that when you read the article, in which the writer uses the Meche/Dotel signings as evidence of the Royals' commitment to winning. Typical East Coast thinking: money buys wins, happiness.
The writer then makes it look like Brown contradicts himself. "Brown said at the current pace of improvement, the Royals can be contenders by 2009." 2009 is two years away. Wouldn't, "They want to get better right now" mean "they want to get better right now"? Like, say, now, or next year at least?
Then there's this:
"They've only been small-market because they haven't went out and spent," Brown said. "But how much does it show? I don't know, because there's always going to be teams that spend more."What does that mean???
In other news, the Dodgers have expressed strong interest in Octavio Dotel, according to the KC Star, though it's unlikely they're going to give up Matt Kemp or James Loney. I like what Dayton's doing though -- not underestimating the value of his commodity, which he purchased before the season with the express intent of selling it high when time came. Of course, by "not underestimating" I mean drastically overestimating, but if you're a Royals fan, you've got to think karma owes you one or two, considering.
The Red Sox are pretty good
- Over the Monster
- Boston Dirt Dogs
- Joy of Sox
- Saux Blog
- Surviving Grady
- The Soxaholix
- Red Sox Talk
- Sox1Fan
- The Triumphant Red Sox Blog
- A Red Sox Fan From Pinstripe Territory
- Sox and Dawgs
- The House that Dewey Built
No sense beating around the bush here: the Royals are in for a tough series. They'll avoid Josh Beckett and Daisuke "Monster" Matsuzaka, but no such luck with Manny Ramirez, David Ortiz and Dustin Pedroia -- who all homered last night -- or this gaggle of Fenway faithful. (If you watch that video on a psychedelic drug, make sure you're wearing adult diapers.)
They call Red Sox fans a "Nation" -- recipient of the 2004 Sportsman of the Year -- capital N signifying innate metaphysical bonds that transcend geographic boundaries. With their benevolent field general and stately prime minister and massive blogger army they will troop across the free world vanquishing all foes with neither shame nor compassion. And flipping off the Yankees. Cute.Yesterday that march was led by rookie pitcher Kason Gabbard -- yes, it's Kason, the same Kason that manufactures "vibratory, centrifugal and static screening equipment" -- who gave up just three hits and struck out eight in his complete game 4-0 win. Gabba Gabba -- who I like to call Yo Gabba Gabba -- has been nothing short of terrific at Fenway this year, and for good reason: what opponent wouldn't feel intimidated going there? Hell, I'm intimidated half the time attending Royals-Red Sox games in Kansas City. Alas, the namesake of the Ramones' first tribute album may find his days in Boston numbered -- perhaps involved in a future Octavio Dotel/Reggie Sanders trade?
The Royals counter with a rookie of their own today: Leo Nunez, who's making his first career start. In two previous appearances in Boston, Nunez is 0-1 with five earned runs in 1.1 innings, three walks, no strikeouts and one home run allowed. Good luck, kid. Remember, these guys are just like the Albuquerque Isotopes, only kind of bigger and most likely feral.
POSTSCRIPT: There's a crazy man in this video. Can you find him?
Monday, July 16, 2007
Weekend wrap-up: Royals at Indians
--IDWT, 7/13/07
FRIDAY:
Odalis Perez: 4 runs, 4.2 innings.
Brilliant foresight on the part of Buddy Bell, who had Perez pitch the first game out of the All-Star break so that his bullpen would be fresh to go at least four innings.
Here's an interesting stat the Cleveland announcers cited: in innings 4-6, the Royals have been outscored by 56 runs this year, while the Indians have outscored their opponents by 43. This makes sense for the Royals: their starters are mostly young or Odalis Perez, so they're liable to begin slowing down as they face opposing hitters for the third time. Meanwhile, the bullpen that takes over after the 6th is simply dominating.
As the announcers were retelling the story of "our Papelbon" -- referenced on this message board owned by our friends in New England, in which they discuss an Octavio Dotel for Willy Mo Pena trade rumor -- Senor Smoke promptly blew two fastballs past Ryan Garko. I thought that was pretty cool.
Royals 4, Indians 5
SATURDAY:
A couple friends of mine love C.C. Sabathia, and mostly rightfully so: the man's durable, he's consistent, he's striking out more batters than ever while walking fewer, and he he's unquestionably the ace of the Indians' staff.
The Royals shelled Sabathia for 11 hits and six runs -- all earned -- in seven innings.
But remember that stat about innings 4-6? Here's how the teams fared in that span:
Indians 4, Royals 0
Luckily, KC's bullpen is awesome.
Royals 6, Indians 5
SUNDAY:
Missed the game because I was playing in an Ultimate tournament called Philly Invite in Allentown, Pa., which isn't really that close to Philadelphia but close enough for me to say I was there for loss No. 10,000... even though I wasn't, because I was home that night. We don't have to tell anyone that part though.
The Royals lost the rubber match in Cleveland, despite the efforts of newly acquired shortstop Jason Smith, who homered.
The lo-down on Smith:
29 years oldKC's probably Smith's last chance to prove himself at this level. Luckily, all he has to do is outperform a man who doesn't walk. (Nice job, Dayton, to anticipate Tony Pena Jr.'s impending BA plummet. I'm afraid it's already begun.)
.228 in 195 ML at-bats
23rd round pick by the Chicago Cubs
Waived by Diamondbacks
Royals 3, Indians 5
This one goes out to the Phillies we love
PHILLIES LOSE 10,000th GAME

First loss: May 1, 1883, to the Providence Grays
10,000th loss: July 15, 2007, to the St. Louis Cardinals
Bill Lyon, a former Philadelphia Inquirer columnist, had some poignant, rather heartwarming things to say about this occasion.
It's great the Phils lost No. 10,000 at home, because for about five minutes straight, Citizens Bank Park was filled with whistling, chanting and cheering. And why not? You can accuse Philadelphians of a lot of things, but not of being ashamed of their teams, which seem so closely entwined with the city's identity.
By the ninth inning, with the outcome inevitable, the boos turned to cheers. Fans in the sellout crowd of 44,872 thumbed their noses at the dubious mark, standing and applauding. One held up a sign that read: "10,000 N Proud" as NL MVP Ryan Howard struck out to end the game.
There's a poll from the above link, in which the question is posed, "Which major league team is most synonymous with losing?" The results so far:
Cubs, 43%(A glimpse into the national psyche.)
Devil Rays, 18%
Royals, 16%
Phillies, 13%
A couple weeks back, a Franz Lidz article in Sports Illustrated, "The Beautiful Losers," pretty much took the best approach to No. 10,000. Extended excerpt:
The existentialist Samuel Beckett exhorted, "Fail better." And no professional sports team has ever failed better or with greater frequency than the Philadelphia Phillies....Loss number 2,657, June 29, 1921
"Not anymore. I've been traded to the Giants!"
-- Casey Stengel, gimpy-kneed Phillies outfielder, when asked if his leg hurt. Told of the swap in the Baker Bowl locker room during a rain delay, Stengel dashed half-clothed into the deluge and gleefully circled the bases, sliding into each bag.
Loss number 7,124, June 26, 1971"We were losing by [seven runs to the Pirates] when a flaky rookie named Roger Freed led off an inning with a hit. When Roger came around to score, he figured he was done for the day. But we nearly batted around in the inning, and Roger was nowhere to be found. Eventually, one of the coaches discovered him in the sauna, where he was trying to lose weight by doing sit-ups as he ate fried chicken."
-- Larry Bowa, shortstop and future Philadelphia manager
Losses number 7,619 and 7,620, July 10, 1977
"The Phillies would win the National League East even though we took only one of the nine games we played at Three Rivers Stadium in Pittsburgh. Two of those losses came during a doubleheader [against the Pirates]. In the clubhouse after closing out both defeats, Tug McGraw announced he had pitched so poorly that he belonged in jail. Then he took a cab to a city jail and asked the desk sergeant to put him behind bars. The cop was happy to, and Tug spent the night in lockup."
-- Jay Johnstone, outfielder
Loss number 9,481, Sept. 24, 2000
"On Fan Appreciation Day my tires were slashed."
-- Terry Francona
Loss number 9,987, June 15, 2007
"If we have 10,000 losses and 8,800 victories, that means we're only a hundred-and-something wins away from reaching the .500 mark."
-- Charlie Manuel, arithmetically-challenged Phillies manager, after a 12-8 loss to the Tigers.
Loss number 9,988, June 17, 2007
"A local sports-radio host wants the city to celebrate the 10,000th loss with a parade. I think that would be a disgrace. The Phils are my grandfather's team, my father's team, my team, my sons' team and my grandchildren's team. We fans will endure this humiliation, and then maybe we'll start on our second 10,000."
-- Ed Deal, 61-year-old ballpark security guard
Way to go, Phils. I wonder what two cents the Iron Lung of Shibe Park might have offered if he were around.
POSTSCRIPT: A delayed link here, but check out the video of the entire Phillies dugout emptying to help the grounds crew with the tarp, which was blowing dangerously out of control.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Second half of season commences

Via Robot Comix, a pretty incredible blog, considering.
Royals return to action tonight in Cleveland against the second-place Indians. Kansas City will be rallying behind their robot of a starter, Odalis Perez (4-8, 5.68 ERA, 1.62 WHIP (!)), who will most definitely give up four runs in five innings. Luckily for him, his opponent, Jake Westbrook, has kind of sucked this year, even though some have called him a poor man's Greg Maddux. He's 1-4 with a 6.27 ERA and 1.52 WHIP, though unlike Odie, consistency is not his game. Earned runs allowed in his starts: 7, 2, 8, 3, 3, 1, 3, 1, 5. There's an inverse Fibonacci sequence hidden in there methinks.
Remember: I am Dayton of the Moores. I understand the truth that has infested you, but it is not my truth and it is not the truth of the future. Believe in this and the chains of the past will slip from you, and the past will flee from you. Baseball is here once more.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
The Peter Gammons-Barry Bonds interview
Peter Gammons: Barry, given your relationship with these fans of San Francisco, was it hard for you to not participate in this Home Run Derby?
Barry Bonds: Oh, definitely, Peter, because this is my home town, these fans have supported throughout my career. It's just that I'm almost 43 years old, I wanted to do it, in my heart, I just can't do it anymore. It's just something I'm not capable of doing anymore. Y'know, everyone sits there and says, "Don't think about yourself," and I can't think about myself, I think about my team. And I'm just grateful I've been able to play as many games as I've been able to play this year, and I want to continue playing and partici/forming for my team, and that's the most important thing, is being able to participate for your team. I'm very thankful that they voted me into the All-Star game, and to have an opportunity to start here at home in front of San Francisco fans, I'm forever grateful for that.IDWT: Given what about his relationship? With what fans? The one quoted in SI's Bonds cover story in May who said, "People here don't give a shit about Bonds and his record. Who cares? I'd rather watch my grandchildren play than that asshole"? Or the ones who decried his one-year, $15.8 million extension? Or those born out of counterculture who would embrace what others reject for the sake of satisfying some psychological aversion to orthodoxy, or common sense?
And Barry: please, please spare us from your "team is most important thing" spiel. Your team is 38-48 and 10.5 games out of first. Your team's fans, on the other hand, cared enough about you to vote you in as a starter, even if they did it fraudulently. Now let me get this straight: you can't take one hour out of your night to take a few swings? Because that's all they want, Barry: to see you take a few swings, perhaps launch one into the Cove, to give you a standing ovation because, damnit, sports fans are like the rest of us, always searching for a familiar face in a familiar place to chat with or pat on the back. And you choose -- on the most-watched pre-postseason baseball event -- to deny them that chance. Okay, Mr. Team First.
PG: At your age, what's the most difficult thing about playing every day now?
BB: The 5th inning. [Laughs.] You can feel okay the first five innings, and then it really starts weighing on you a little bit. It's trying to last the entire game, and that's the hardest part.IDWT: Boohoo, waaaa, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, I want my greenies back! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Oh, and you're making $15.8 million, dickhead.
PG: How much has the home run record been on your mind?
BB: It really hasn't, Peter, at all. It hasn't been... My teammates have been great, the city's been great, everyone around throughout the league and wherever I go has been great, and I haven't really thought of it. The only thing that gets me is when they change the balls. As soon as they change the balls, I haven't hit a home run, since they did it in Cincinnati. I gotta try to not see that change, because then that's what's in your mind, you know that there's something going on, and when there's no change of baseballs, then you know your mindset is just focused on the game. So I have to really try to focus myself away from that ball change.IDWT: Everyone wherever you go has been great? Really? You sure about that?

PG: Now, have you been surprised, the reaction of fans around the league, and did you worry a little bit about it before the season?
IDWT: Uh oh, here we go. Now you've done it... and it was going so well! What's Barry going to do here? Play dumb? Give Peter the stare? Patronize him some more? Tell him to f### off?
BB: Um, what reaction are you talking about?IDWT: Play dumb it is!
PG (his stammering): Just th-the fans, y'know, th-that fans, because of so much controversy t-that has surrounded this, did you worry that before the season that there'd be booing, there'd be a lot of, a lot of fans would get on you?
BB: Peter, I don't worry about that because, y'know, it's the same thing when you say "people." You know? It's the same thing like me sitting here saying "a third party." The thing is is that I am disappointed at people that are judging me by a third-party's comment. And actually.... The people of San Francisco know me, see me walking the streets, they know the type of person... I don't go to clubs, I don't hang out, I don't do crazy things, they know that I work hard. Everyone sees me in the gym as everyday people, stuff like that, and they actually get to see me. I feel disappointed and I feel sad about somebody that judges another person over a third-party's comments. You're allowing that person to dictate your opinion about me. And that's sad for me. That would be me, if someone said, Hey, Peter Gammons is doing so-and-so something, I'd be like, "Hold on, man, I don't know the guy, so I'm not going to jump to that conclusion." If I then have an opportunity to meet you and I do meet you, I can sit there and say, "You know, you're wrong. He's a nice man, I've had an opportunity to meet him."IDWT: You don't want to be judged by a third party? What could you possibly mean?
The people of San Francisco know me, see me walking the streets.
IDWT: Oh yes, Barry, they see you all the time walking down Market Street and jogging in Lincoln Park. You're a true man of the people.
They know that I work hard.
IDWT: I've always felt insecure over my head size and unsure of my ability to attract fetching companions of the opposite sex, for fear my noggin's too small. Your secret, Barry. Share?
And that's sad for me.
IDWT: Tear.
$15.8 million and soon the most hallowed record in baseball. God you're a fucking prick.
I'd be like, "Hold on, man, I don't know the guy.
IDWT: You don't know Peter Gammons? And yet you act so familiar, addressing him by his first name.
If I then have an opportunity to meet you and I do meet you, I can sit there and say, "You know, you're wrong. He's a nice man, I've had an opportunity to meet him."
IDWT: Would you like to meet Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams, Barry, who had their livelihoods suspended for doing their jobs without complaint past the metaphorical 5th inning? Maybe they can give you a couple pointers on how to pass the time in jail.
PG: Do you care if Bud Selig and Henry Aaron are here when you break the record?
BB: You know, I said it earlier today, as far as Hank Aaron goes, Hank has a life. You cannot predict a home run...IDWT: Blah blah blah, whatever. Just whatever.
One last thing, B: you know the difference between your situation and your hypothetical, the one where, say, a former girlfriend accuses Gammons of, oh, reading Sports Illustrated past his bedtime?
ev·i·dence (ěv'ĭ-dəns), n.: that which tends to prove or disprove something; ground for belief; proof.
Try that on for size. It's big, even for you.
Joe Buck and Tim McCarver discuss Barry Bonds and steroids during the All-Star Game
Does anyone have a link to a clip? Or a transcript? It happened right after the Barry Bonds in-game interview (not certain whether this was before or after Chris Young served up the first inside-the-park home run in All-Star history to eventual MVP Ichiro Suzuki). YouTube and Google Video's got nothing... yet. There's not much on the blogosphere or world wide web, either.
According to my friend K, who is cooler than you*, Buck basically apologized for Bonds (and Mark McGwire?), excusing him and other sluggers for their all-but-proven steroids use as a result of the Zeitgeist of the time. And you know what? He has a point: we did want home runs, and we did love McGwire and Sosa in that summer of '98. It's a bit unfair for us to vilify those guys on a clear conscience.
K, however, has a different opinion: CENSORED FOR INDECENT REFERENCES TO LEWD, ADULT ACTS.
I should make clear, if you haven't already figured this out, that K is a Cubs fan, so his disdain of all things St. Louis extends into the city's announcers booth. I personally have nothing against the man with the voice of velvet mixed with peanut butter, but Buck is the kind of nondescript sports media celebrity that polarizes the national fandom.
Again, if someone has a transcript or a clip of Buck/McCarver, we can begin our own earnest conversation on this topic.
POSTSCRIPTS:
1) My roommate Cranston remembers Buck's commentary for its double-animal reference: "Something like, 'It ends up being a cat-and-mouse game that leads you on a wild goose chase.'" That's three animals. Cranston -- that's his nickname because he's from the city of Cranston, Rhode Island (and you know where Rhode Islanders' baseball allegiance lies) -- also deadpanned, "I like how the Yankees players were trying to throw the game." Oh yeah, he also made a snide remark about A-Rod's white shoes.
2) Not to say Joe Buck has never expressed his opinion on Bary Bonds or steroids elsewhere, or that it hasn't been reported before, like here by the Boston Globe (specifically mentioning Buck and this year's All-Star game).
Here's what Buck said in an exclusive Yahoo Sports interview just a couple days prior:
Question: How important was it for baseball and this city that Barry Bonds got voted in to play in this game?
Very. I'm glad he's here. I'm glad he's playing in it. Everybody's got their opinions on Barry Bonds, but I would submit to you that whatever your issues are with whatever he's done -- and we can only speculate because he hasn't failed any Major League Baseball-sponsored steroids tests -- you could say the same for a lot of guys that are in the game today. The simple fact of it is, he is still the most disruptive player in any lineup in the game. And that guy deserves to be in the All-Star game. He's four home runs away from Hank Aaron and it's in his backyard -- he should be here playing in this game, period. I'm glad he is.
You're a baseball purist. Does it bother you at all that they're questioning him and calling this the Steroid Era?
It is what it is. If this is the Steroid Era, I would tell you that I think we're now in the steroid or performance enhancing drugs, whatever you want to call it -- it might not just be steroids, HGH, whatever -- it's all through sports. And if it's the Steroid Era in baseball, I would say it's the HGH Era in other sports. So it's a wild goose chase that has started now, and I don't think we'll ever have definitive answers on who was doing what, and these stories are getting older and older and we're going back years to try to... I think people are pretty much willing to accept that this is what it is, and we're going to be on a hunt for this for the rest of time, and I don't think the people testing are ever going to totally catch up with the people who are cheating.
You mention that baseball is one that's under the microscope. Why is it that this is the sport that's getting all the attention for it?
Because people care about the records. People care that Barry Bonds is breaking a record that was set by Hank Aaron. Period. And it's been said many times -- it's nothing new coming out of my mouth -- but you would struggle, even for the most ardent football fan, to have him give you a list of all the major records in the NFL. But people in baseball care. And when they care about something, then they have issue with it. I think that's what we're dealing with, and I'm glad people care. If people didn't care, then baseball would have a problem, and I think it's the pressure from the public that tries to steer this game and any game toward honest competition. And I think [the testers]'re going to try and do their best, but I don't think they'll ever get over the hump and totally eradicate performance enhancing drugs, not just from baseball but from any of these sports.
In your opinion, should commissioner Bud Selig be in attendance when he breaks the record?
Absolutely. I don't know how he can't be. I really think Bud Selig has been a wonderful commissioner -- and a lot of people like to take their shots -- he's accomplished major, major things in this game, not the least of which is revenue sharing and what he's done with the Internet and what he's done with the playoff system and the Wild Card and -- I mean, he's done a lot of good stuff for this game -- what he's done in the Pacific rim in globalizing baseball.
But I take issue with him on it... I think [attending Bonds's record-breaking game] should have been determined a long time ago. Now that's saying one thing. I think you can get on a long-time trek of trying to follow him around because he's not on a pace where he's hitting two a day anymore. But if he hasn't failed any Major League Baseball-sponsored tests, [Selig]'s gotta be there, because you're condemning your own testing policy by not being there. So I'd like to see him there, and I think at the end of the day he will be there.
* Please understand: K discovered Ryan Theriot. He discovered him the moment THE RIOT caught his ceremonial first pitch one cool night at Wrigley. Or put another way: Theriot discovered K.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Around the Horn: Royals midseason reports
Me: What was it like?
Her: Nothing.
Me: Nothing?
Her: We just looked at each other and walked by.
Me: Wait. You looked at each other?
Her: I walked by Justin Morneau. He also looked at me.
Me: Okay, I don't care.
Her: I saw Harold Reynolds. He smiled at me.
I expressed a little more interest in HR.
Me: Hey, let's talk more about Gil Meche.
Her: There's nothing to talk about.
Me: What was he wearing?
Her: What was he wearing?
Me: What was he wearing?
Her: He was wearing his uniform.
Me: Oh.
Her: David Wright: That guy was crazy.
That was the end of our Meche chat.
- As always, we start with Megan Stock over at MLBlogs, who's appropriately excited about the Royals' 38-50 mark, much-improved from the last two years.
- Royals Authority, quite authoritatively, grades the team's hitters on a curve. We can probably expect better grades for the pitchers, but hitters are what you get for now.
- Royal Blue Baseball, formerly Brett's Royals, has some nice words about the team's marked improvement these last couple of months.
- The small army of bloggers over at Royals Review have second-half predictions, another prediction thread and more peering into the crystal ball.
UPDATE, 7/11: Meche, in fact, did not enter the game. And other All-Star futility, via Royals Review.
UPDATE 2: Another midseason report: Dick Kaegel, MLB.com
Monday, July 9, 2007
Live-blogging the ESPN Century 21 Home Run Derby
6:58 p.m.: All times Eastern. Rarin' to go here. My on-scene correspondent is as well, though she's apparently too busy to take my calls. That bitch. We'll check back later.
Here are the participants in this year's derby, which is watched by more people than the Division Series, according to Jayson Stark:
(NAME, team, HRs season, HRs career)
PRINCE FIELDER, Milwaukee, 29, 59
VLADIMIR GUERRERO, Anaheim, 14, 352
MATT HOLIDAY, Colorado, 15, 82
RYAN HOWARD, 21, 103
JUSTIN MORNEAU, 24, 103
MAGGLIO ORDONEZ, 13, 232
ALBERT PUJOLS, 16, 266
ALEX RIOS, 17, 45
Notably absent: Barry Lamar Bonds. In the spirit of Baseball Tonight "analysts," I think I'm going to say "Barry Lamar Bonds" as many times as I can tonight, like the meow guy from Super Troopers.
Full coverage on MLB.com. I'll be back in an hour with predictions and such. In the meantime, let's bitterly envy how good San Franciscans have it.

8:11 p.m.: Boomer, to crowd: "Say hello to Joe Morgan"
... Boomer: "...Dusty Baker!"
My brain just groaned.
8:13: Question: If a ball falls in the water and someone dives into that logjam of kayaks, couldn't he theoretically find himself stuck under the kayaks? And, like, drown?
8:18: My prediction: Vladimir Guerrero wins it. The smart bet is to go with a left-hander like Ryan Howard or Prince Fielder, but I like Vlad because of the redemption factor. The first time he participated in the Derby, in 2000 at Turner Field as an Expo, he hit two home runs. Two. And now he's "excited" to be in this year's Derby, partially because he wants to do better. There's also this article from the LA Times, titled, "Guerrero looks for an edge at Home Run Derby." Does that make it sound like he isn't taking this seriously and isn't in it to win it?
First set of dispatches from my correspondent:7:52: Yes boomer! am five feet away. i am sitting right next to aaron roward
8:02: Just talked to saito and coach frank robinson. david wright on my left
8:02: Barry bonds and i are right next to each other
8:03: Im on national side
8:16: hamels utley hoffman young
I've got a message pending to her: "Meche! Where is meche?"
8:27: Matt Holliday... wow.8:29: Boomer: "Back back back back back... gone!"
8:31: Fly ball to center... Bermuda's Triangle out there with the kids circling like sea gulls... someone call for it! Call for it! No? Not even a stab, kid? Okay.
Current scoreboard:
Matt Holliday: 5
Justin Morneau, 4
8:36: Barry Lamar Bonds-Peter Gammons interview. Barry Lamar Bonds has addressed Gammons by his first name three times, I think both to patronize him and soften his questions. Sadly, it's working. Where's Jim Gray when you need him? UPDATE, 7/12: Interview transcript here.By the way, you know what Yogi Berra said about making predictions? "It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future." Of course, half the things attributed to Berra he never actually said -- that's a paraphrase of a Berra quote, by the way -- but I think he said this one. Just a hunch.
Wait, did someone just bat?
(Magglio Ordonez: 2 home runs.)
8:44 p.m. Up next... POOHOLES.
I'm getting a satellite feed of MLB.com's Derby coverage during ESPN's commercials, and I gotta say... those guys at MLB, however hardworking they might be, are 100 percent unenlightening.
8:45: Did the farmer in Grant Wood's American Gothic dress Alex Rodriguez for his interview? A model of simplicity and understatedness: dark tan suit, white shirt, black tie, leather-band watch... what the hell? $26 million a year can't buy a man a suit not picked out of Wal-Mart?Really, his wife should dress him every day.
8:51: LEADERBOARD:
Matt Holliday: 5
Justin Morneau, 4
Albert Pujols: 4
Magglio Ordonez: 2
8:54: Alex Rios, four home runs in five outs. How big of a letdown would it be if he won this contest?8:56: Erin Andrews is interviewing Jake Peavy. My friend -- a fellow beat writer during our college newspaper days -- had a picture taken with Erin once. I'd post it here, but I don't want to embarrass anyone. (He was in love with her.)
9:05: Prince Fielder's up. He's really fat. Too fat, in fact, for Billy Beane to draft him, as detailed in a scene from Moneyball.
9:10: Fielder hit three home runs. We're on pace for one of the most impotent first rounds in Derby history.
9:12: The Impaler is up and ready to impale.
9:13: David Ortiz breaks out his version of Wonderboy from out of a rectangular cedar box.9:14: Vlad hits a ground ball with his first swing.
9:14b: No. 1 with five outs.
9:17: He's mashing now. HR No. 5 went to the back rows in front of the giant Coke bottle. It's the longest homer of the day at 463 feet.
9:19: Barry Lamar Bonds and A-Rod are chit-chatting it up like a couple of socially awkward guys at a frat party. Just those two, standing in the corner in the shadows, somewhat close to the keg in the hopes of catching some pretty girl's eye. A-Rod's the one who'd nod "Hi" to those who approach, while Bonds would just chatter away about cheeseburgers and his workout regimen.
9:20: The man who defeated David Wright is up next. Impotent, I'm telling you, impotent. Guerrero is tied with the lead at five home runs.
9:28: Ryan Howard just killed a wall. The outfield wall is dead, because Ryan Howard hit a ball so hard it became a weapon of flying destruction.(That was really stupid, I know.)
SCOREBOARD
Holliday: 5
Rios: 5
Guerrero: 5
Morneau: 4
Pujols: 4
Barry Lamar Bonds: 0
You know what that means...
SWING-OFF! (Imagine sirens blaring and confetti and balloons falling and all sorts of delightful chaos.)
9:30: Morgan and Baker chuckle over the words "swing-off."
9:33: Prince Albert needs two home runs in five outs to advance. At the rate this competition has been going, two home runs are no guarantee.
9:34: Boomer: "That's to Sausalito!"
A few seconds later: "That's to Alcatraz!"
Pujols is moving on and is now answering, quite seriously, how it feels to move to the second round. He's "blessed," apparently.
MLB.com is interviewing Gil Meche! THE MECHE! THE MECHE IS IN THE HOUSE! And all it took for me to see it is a satellite dish.I can't type as fast as he can talk, but here's what I was able to get:
Pretty exciting... I'm very thrilled to be a part of this in San Francisco with all these great players.... Blast to watch.... Just trying to enjoy it, take what I can out of this.Then there was this:
I usually say I'm never nervous, I pitched Opening Day against Curt Schilling and wasn't nervous then... I tell you though, I might be a little edgy out there tomorrow.... Hopefully I get a chance to pitch [unlike Mark Redman], leave it out on the field.
The reason I picked Kansas City is Dayton Moore had a great plan.... We have a great ballclub.... We got off to a slow start, but lately our young guys are getting some confidence and taking great at-bats, and our bullpen has done a great job.... I think we have a bright future, and that's where Dayton Moore comes into play.
Amen.
9:46: Holliday's hitting them out effortlessly.9:48: Just saw this message from my correspondent, which she sent at 9:23:
Barry and a rod have been talking behind me forever.See previous frat boys comment.
9:52: Rios up.
9:58: A bomb to deep center. Absolute bomb. "That was rios grande!" I'll give you two guesses who said that.No, it wasn't Dusty Baker.
9:59: Some kid fell down. Ha ha!
Rios: 17 total
Holliday: 13
9:58: A Rios-Holliday final would be fun. Unexpected, of course, but they're both good guys, quiet, upstanding citizens, deserving of some publicity...
NO! GIVE US GUERRERO-PUJOLS!
10:08: Pujols is in the batting cage in the clubhouse, killing people. Wait, baseballs. I don't doubt that if you made a small kid unfamiliar with baseball -- like, say, an Australian Aboriginal -- watch Pujols take batting practice in a sound tunnel, the kid would die of shock.10:11: Vlad Daddy MERCY. 474 feet!
10:12: Two outs to go, needs two home runs.
10:12b: Jose Reyes liked Vlad's 474-er. Carlos Beltran just gave him a look that said, "Vlad scares the crap out of me." If I were a pitcher, I would dirty my pants every time the man swung that bat.
10:13: One out left, need one more.
10:14: Taping his fingers. Hmm. I think, somewhere, Mike Scioscia is shaking his head while sipping a Bourbon and muttering, "No, no, no, no, no..."
10:14: Boomer: "Back.......... back......."
It cleared the fence by about five feet.
10:15: There is NO doubt about that one. And the crowd goes wild! Berman's on his feet!
10:16: 503. It went 503 feet. Nearly hit a pink clock. I'm genuinely excited now.
SCOREBOARD:
Rios: 17
Guerrero: 14
Holliday: 13 (eliminated)
Pujols: Needs 10 to tie
Kenny Mayne has moved out of McCovey Cove and is standing in the first row in left field.Chris Berman: "Kenny, is that a plate jacket you're wearing? Because getting hit by some of these balls that are being hit would hurt." [paraphrased]
Kenny Mayne: "I didn't hear a thing you just said, but every time a home run is hit, I'm going to blow this whistle." [Blows orange whistle.]
10:26: I just noticed that it takes a really long time for the ball to actually fly out. Long enough for Pujols to stand at the plate and adjust his batting gloves.10:28: Pujols needs five homers. Two outs to go.
10:29: Four homers.
10:29b: Three homers.
10:30: Down to his final out.
10:31: Two homers. He's loving this.
10:32: Pujols just tried to call timeout.
10:32b: One homer to tie. Berman's right, there's actually tension here right now.
10:33: At the crack of the bat, I could've sworn he hit the ball 440 feet. Alas, he got jammed. Outfield grass power.
The guy I predicted would win this thing is in the finals. Dante, a Red Sox fan sitting next to me, had Rios winning it. By the grace of God we will avoid bloodshed tonight.
Earlier this afternoon, Baseball Today had a podcast in which Peter Pascarelli mentioned this about the Royals: They've scored one run or less 22 times, yet have scored at least 12 runs five times. Pascarelli couldn't figure it out, but I'll give him props for this: he called the Royals' recent win over Tampa Bay "big," as it takes them into the All-Star break on a good note.In other news... check this out: if the Royals and Pirates combined. It'd be a hell of a pitching staff.
10:41: Joe Morgan likes Vladimir Guerrero, who's currently being interviewed in his native language by someone from ESPN Deportes.
10:47: Vlad needs three to validate me as a bona fide soothsayer.
Other live-blogs going on:- Nate Silver, Baseball Prospectus.
- 7:37 PM. By the way, guys really need to be able to pick their music, just like they pick their pitcher. Pujols lost a ton of momentum when Kansas came on the PA system.
- Ryan Dragoon, NYJER Please
- Not here.
10:54: Vlad's taken to hitting high fly balls.
10:55: Is anyone reading this?
10:55b: Joe Morgan stands up.
10:55c: We have a champion, Boomer announces.
Congratulations, Vladimir Guerrero, for making me look smart. You win my deepest respect and gratitude for the minute.
11:03: The ESPN talent is signing off. Kenny Mayne's standing in left field... "When everything's said and done, there's nothing left to say or do."Yes, Boomer, I did enjoy Vlad winning it all. It took a little while for the hitters to get warmed up, but once they did, they put on a good show. Even Baker and Morgan were interesting together, proving two wrongs sometimes does make a right.
See you cats tomorrow. Now let's go burn down the Bronx.
Hochevar sizzles in Futures Game; Royals win D-Rays series
Luke Hochevar, the No. 1 overall pick in the 2006 draft, threw a perfect 5th in the Futures Game yesterday, won by Team World 7-2. Here were the 11 pitches he used (velocity listed) while proudly doffing KC insignia:
Batter 1:
91 ground out to third
Batter 2:
93 called strike
92 called strike (nice movement on the fastballs)
78 ball (difficulty locating these curves, though they're around the plate)
79 ball
83 ground out to short
Batter 3:
77 ball
93 called strike (very good fastball)
84 called strike (low and inside)
93 foul (attacking him inside)
79 fly out to center (good breaking action)
This is a very positive development. One inning is just one inning -- and alas, the Royals' consecutive Futures Game MVPs streak ended -- but hopefully Hochevar returns to Double A with a boost of confidence and re-upped dedication to join the likes of former Futures All-Stars now in the bigs, Alex Gordon, Billy Butler and Zack Greinke.
During ESPN's broadcast, the commentator (Steve Phillips?) mentioned that big-league teams like their prospects to go through slumps in the minors. That way, when they struggle in The Show, they'll know how to handle it. Hochevar said practically the same thing after the game:
I've tried to stay locked in on the day-in, day-out process that I need to do to help myself get better. It's good when I go through tough times, you know. That's what makes you tough. I'm thankful for rough times.
While that was going on, the parent club was dusting off the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, 12-4. The lopsided score can be attributed to a six-run 8th, and general awesomeness on the Royals' part. It's their ninth win in 13 games, and now they head into the break just 12 games under .500 at 38-50.
The star of the game was Tony Pena Jr., who hit three of the team's seven doubles and drove in four. The D-Rays, from what I can tell, would have a better bullpen if they let Cara Gorges pitch in relief. That's Cara Renee Gorges, reigning Miss Kansas, who has an underwhelming fastball but possesses plus-plus coquetry. She tossed the ceremonial first pitch before Saturday's game, and after hurling the ball across the plate, she gave a nice little fist pump that can only be described as "cute." Then a duly-inspired Royals team won 8-7.

Bravi, Mr. and Mrs. Gorges. Bravissimo.
POSTSCRIPT: For your reading pleasure:
- Ten things you didn't know about George Brett, from the website he recently discovered and can't get enough of
- Barry Bonds can never escape the performance-enhancement
- Erik Bedard: 9 innings, 15 strikeouts, 2 hits (both runners wiped out on GIDPs)
- Rob and Rany -- Friday, July 6 -- on the Royals' pitching, with second-half predictions
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Luke Hochevar, 2006 No. 1 pick and 2007 Futures Game All-Star

Melissa Wintemute/MLB.com
Is Luke Hochevar set to join Justin Huber and Billy Butler as the third straight Royal to win the Futures All-Star Game MVP? We'll find out today when he takes the mound for Team U.S.A. at 3 p.m. CT.
Hochevar's stats for Double-A Wichita don't look impressive -- 4.69 ERA and 3-6 record -- but for his first full professional season, he's performing adequately. In 94 innings, he holds a healthy strikeout-to-walk ratio of 3.6-to-1 with 94 strikeouts (9.0 is a very good K/9 rate). The problem seems to be when opponents get the bat on the ball -- they're hitting .286 off him with 13 home runs -- but he can learn to manage that as time goes on.
MLB.com says about him:
Hochevar relied on his slider in college, but the Royals want to see him increase his pitch options and have pushed him to develop his plus-plus, late-breaking curveball. If he can develop some consistency with that repertoire, Hochevar could be in the Royals rotation by Opening Day 2008, with a preview coming this September.
You can follow him and other Royals prospects over at the wonderful resource that is The Pipeline.
A few other relevant links:
- Baseball Think Factory's 2006 draft recap (Hochevar graded A-)
- 2007 Futures Game rosters
- Billy Butler: All-Star MVP
- Justin Huber: All-Star MVP
POSTSCRIPT: Humor by juxtaposition. As this is the team the Royals are chasing for fourth place, here are the line scores for two White Sox games on Friday:
MIN 4 1 1 6 2 0 4 2 0 R:20 H:21: E:1
CHI 0 3 1 0 3 1 2 1 3 R:14 H:18: E:5
MIN 3 0 2 0 1 0 6 0 0 R:12 H:15 E:0
CHI 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 R:0 H:5 E:0
And for a little contrast, here's the line score to last night's Mets-Astros game, which featured a terrific, truly game-saving catch by our old friend Carlos Beltran:
NYM 0 0 0 0 2 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 R:5 H:17 E:0
HOU 0 0 0 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 R:3 H:10 E:0
Baseball has a sense of humor.
EDITOR'S NOTE: I'll be live-blogging the home run derby tomorrow night, so please join me at 7 p.m. Central Time, 8 Eastern and 5 Pacific. We'll have a nice, healthy conversation about baseball and whatever else over whiskey and Cognac. Okay, maybe Bud and Miller Lite. Still, it'll be fun. I've got a correspondent who'll be at AT&T Park -- she's an intern for Gatorade -- and relaying us tidbits. Let's hope she spikes someone's drink.
"It's slow, painful and merciless"
Former Royal Jay Witasick relieves starter Andy Sonnanstine. David DeJesus leads off:
BallEsteban German:
Strike (foul)
Ball
Ball
Ball... WALK
BallMark Teahen:
Ball
Strike (looking)
Strike (foul)
Ball
Ball... WALK
Bunt foul (leading me to scream, quite loudly, "WHY?!?!")Casey Fossum relieves Witasick. Emil Brown pinch-hits for Ross Gload:
Bunt foul (MAKE WITASICK THROW A STRIKE, BUDDY [BELL]! WHAT THE #$%& ARE YOU DOING????)
Ball
Foul
Ball
Foul
Ball
Ball... WALK
Strike (foul)DeJesus scores. Alex Gordon up (remember Opening Day vs. Curt Schilling, bases loaded?):
Ball
Ball
Ball
Ball... WALK
Strike (swinging)Shawn Camp relieves Fossum. Billy Butler up:
Ball
Ball
Ball
Strike (looking)
Foul
Ball... WALK
Ball
Ball
Base hit! Royals lead 7-6!
Soon after Butler's single to right, the Rays' color commentator moaned that the sequence he just witnessed was "slow, painful and merciless." That's probably one of the best lines I've heard all year.
If a Strawberry Hardaway is drawing three sevens on one's way to 21 in Blackjack, what's drawing five straight walks on 7-7-07? (The Strawberry Hardaway, by the way, is also a newly concocted mixed drink of tequila, lemon juice, strawberries, syrup and balsamic cream on ice.)
The excellent blog Rays of Light, while failing to answer my question, reacted to last night's game with an entry titled Game 86 - BULL%$!:
How many games are we going to see this bullpen piss away? How many times are we going to have to write about sure wins that were ripped from the jaws of victory and fed to defeat? Another strong offensive performance against a very good pitcher was wasted as the bullpen couldn't hold onto a 2-run lead.
That really, really resembles something a Royals blogger would have written a year ago. Alas, our bullpen's turned a corner and -- legitimately now, with Zack Greinke registering 98 on the stadium radar and looking absolutely unhittable and Joakim Soria setting up for an effective-again Octavio Dotel -- is now a strength, not merely a "not-a-liability." In addition, the last two performances notwithstanding, the Royals' starting pitching has been solid, and the offense has shown resilience and tenacity and three 17-run performances. For the first time in a long time, it's good to be a Kansas City baseball fan.
As for the Devil Rays... ergh... keep at it, Rays of Light.
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Neifi Perez busted for amphetamines. Blogosphere rejoices
The buzz around the blogosphere today, however, involves this man:

A swing and a whiff. Stephen Dunn/Getty
Neifi Perez is the first player in MLB to be busted for greenies, and the blogs have been chirping about this for the last 24 hours. Rightfully so, since the man single-handedly ruined half a dozen organizations.
Raise the W Flag (Cubs): Well That Explains.....Nothing
I'm surprised they even bother to test people with a .172 batting average. That's like testing a Mormon for alcohol, or Mike Tyson for sanity. You just figure you're not gonna find any, so why bother?
Roar of the Tigers (Tigers on MVN): Neifi Perez is going to be the death of me
Wait, it gets BETTER.
“I say to my fans that I am not stupid. I know the difference between good and bad and there are things that are going to be known going forward, but my lawyer has advised me not to talk for now,” Perez told the Dominican radio program Impacto Deportivo in his homeland.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha, oh man, Neifi!! thinks he has fans!
Babes Love Baseball (general): Not Too Stimulating
How awesome are the Detroit Tigers? Besides the use of uppers among unproductive utility infielders, they finish each other's sentences!
"Rules are rules. You break the rules..." Magglio Ordonez said.
"You pay," Carlos Guillen finished, followed by a high-five and nod from Mags.
Fire Joe Morgan (general): Neifi Perez's Inability to be Patient at the Plate: Explained
If this is how well he hit using greenies, just think how bad he would have been au natural.
Poor Neifi.
POSTSCRIPT: Poor Runelvys Hernandez, too, recently released from the Yankees.
Friday, July 6, 2007
This is how Kansas City reacts to malfunctioning fireworks
- Pretty bad game and the fizzle fireworks just reminded me why I don't go the Royals games often. The team made basic fundamental errors and looked bad. Funny how everyone else in the city and other cities were able to have their fireworks displays.
- It was a disappointment for sure. I think everyone can understand that these things do happen, but it is the first time in my life I can remember not seeing fireworks on the forth of July.
- Did you expect anything less...Kansas City Sports are just like those marketers that promise you a free weeks vacation in Florida all accomodations paid for...what they forget to tell you is your staying in a dump hotel and your food is bread and water, just like our sports orginization...Complacency sucks.
These are just some of the reader comments to this KC Star article (apparently the fireworks failed to go off properly after the July 4 game). The Royals, being a classy organization, are giving everyone in attendance a free ticket to a game of their choice, yet the people are still outraged.
Here's my favorite reaction, from "Kathy":
I attended the game last night (July 4th) with my family (Ticket cost $167 - plus an approximate $100 on food). I am absolutely appauled that not only did the Royals obviously hire some inept company to handle their fireworks show (what professional fireworks company doens't know to keep their equipment dry?) but that they would think that an appropriate action to such a problem would be that we could come to another game. They don't actually believe that all of those fans were there JUST to watch the Royals? My 3 year old grandson couldn't have cared less about the game...he sat through 2 1/2 hours to watch the fireworks. He will never be 3 again..it's over...he missed it, because of their organization. Come on....they take in millions in revenue...how about giving something back? Like another fireworks show for all the ticket holders? No game...just the show. Their dwindling crowds are a result of actions like last night. They are losing the publics trust. I love baseball and events like last night. But if they can't handle a problem like the one they had last night in a better fashion...then I'll spend my money elsewhere.
Let's review this line by line.
Ticket cost $167 - plus an approximate $100 on food.
Did you buy 20 hot dogs?
...but that they would think that an appropriate action to such a problem would be that we could come to another game.
Actually, they offered everyone a free Volkswagon in Lot G. Or did you miss that announcement?
They don't actually believe that all of those fans were there JUST to watch the Royals?
I'm sure some were there to watch the Mariners, and others for the clouds for three hours, and others for the stadium beer, and others... WHAT ELSE COULD YOU POSSIBLY DO AT A BASEBALL GAME EXCEPT WATCH BASEBALL, AND AS THE ROYALS ARE THE HOME TEAM, TO WATCH THE ROYALS?
Now, I realize she might mean there were a handful of folks who went to the game just to see the fireworks, as this was the Fourth of July. In which case, that's just stupid. Here's a short list of fireworks shows in Kansas City that night, none of which required anyone to sit through a baseball game:
1. Shawnee Mission Park, 7710 Renner Rd., 9:45 p.m.
2. English Landing Park, Parkville, Mo., 9:30 p.m.
3. Corporate Woods, I-435 and College Blvd. at 109th and Mastin, 9:30 p.m.
4. Mormon Visitor Center, 937 W. Walnut, Independence, Mo., 9:30 p.m.
5. Worlds of Fun, 10 p.m.
My 3 year old grandson couldn't have cared less about the game...he sat through 2 1/2 hours to watch the fireworks.
Take him to an AFL game next time if he cares so little about baseball. The Brigade's Charles Frederick, WR, was recently named co-Rookie of the Year. (Couldn't the Chiefs use a wide receiver?)
He will never be 3 again..it's over...he missed it, because of their organization.
You're right. You got me there. Now the shame is setting in. He won't be three again. His life's over. Done. What's the point, cruel world? Let's pack it up. I hope you're proud of what you've done, Kansas City Royals. Best years of his life... OVER. Poof. Way to rob him of his youth and innocence. Bastards.
Come on....they take in millions in revenue...how about giving something back?
Like a free ticket?
Like another fireworks show for all the ticket holders?
Oh. Well that's easy, why didn't you say so? Just come back any Friday... there's that promotion, Fireworks Fri...
No game...just the show.
Uh...
Their dwindling crowds are a result of actions like last night.
Or because of this.
They are losing the publics trust.
But Dayton Moore's bringing it back!
I love baseball and events like last night.
Do you really? Do you really love baseball? Because you were served a pretty good game: played at a relatively fast pace, rallies for the home team, a couple of nice defensive plays...
But if they can't handle a problem like the one they had last night in a better fashion...then I'll spend my money elsewhere.
Maybe at the Fireworks Superstore? Hey look! An online order form! Now quit mouthing off on the Internet and giving everyone in KC a bad name. I shudder to imagine your reaction to Kansas's science curriculum...
POSTSCRIPT: I'm afraid I've deliberately misrepresented Kansas City. To the credit of Royals fans everywhere, most of the comments on that KC Star article were something to the effect of, "Kathy, get a life," and "F--- you, St. Louis." I can get behind that.
UPDATE: Megan Stock, on the Royals' generosity.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
A small letdown following 17-run outburst
Memorial Day in front of Kansas City's WWI memorial.
Off-day today before the D-Rays and their AL-worst 33-50 record come to town. Are we sure baseball needs a franchise in Tampa Bay? Someone in the Tampa blogosphere want to defend their team?
Lefty pitcher/writer joins Royals
Welcome to the team, Sean Thompson. Recently designated for assignment by the Padres, the 24-year-old lefty became a Royal when this blog's hero, eager for fresh arms -- pitchers are never whole people, just arms -- claimed him off waivers on Tuesday. Considering how well the last San Diego reject has fared -- that's Joakim Soria, Dayton Moore's Papelbon -- this could turn out to be a steal. You want the ultimate irony? The Padres DFA'ed Thompson to make room on their 40-man roster for... drum roll, please... Milton Bradley. The trade's tentative, but the Thompson move is final. Yes, this is the same Milton Bradley that the Royals would have acquired had Bradley not hurt himself in the 11th hour.Thompson, like Soria, will be converted to a reliever for now, hopefully fast-tracking him to the big-league club. Then again, we may never hear from him again. Thus is the life of a baseball prospect.
What else is part of that life, you ask? That's a very interesting question. Who could possibly divulge the secret life of ballplayers, enlighten us on those dust-filled days and Rusty Nail nights, deign to illuminate for we uninitiated the snake-charming allure of a game that keeps so many thousands on rickety buses through dirt-bare outbacks chasing a chance, or a dream?
How about Sean Thompson?
Apparently the man's a writer: for an entire year, he kept a journal for the Mad Friars website, part of the Scout.com network, writing about his family, his teammates, a near-brawl, spring training, etc. I'm generally unimpressed by athlete blogs -- there are a few exceptions, like Curt Schilling's 38 Pitches and Paul Shirley's NBA blog, which he leveraged into a book deal -- but Thompson's seems genuinely... honest. That's something. Sure, he could use a copy editor, but then again, if he had one, it wouldn't really be his journal, would it?
Here's a glimpse of what I mean when I say it's honest -- from a March 29, 2005 entry, where Thompson writes about the experience of getting cut:
...I understand that real life or whatever is much harder and that our problems may seem miniscule to the norm, but as I said before if you readers want it, then you are going to get it.
Yes, its fun. Yes it's the time of ours lives, but when you get to the point where your number might be up, then it gets rough. I had to watch two of my good friends, teammates, take the long walk this past week. That means when I showed up at the ballpark, I stepped out of my car to find, a 25 year old man, crouched down in the worst position ever.
In tears.
H had just gotten released.
Yeah I know we all bitch about waking up early, and shagging batting practice all the time, but now my boys are sitting on the side, soggy eyed and left with the feeling that it's over. I'm sorry that this article isn't upbeat and exciting, but that's the way it is down here. Truthfully though, it's hard to see the things that have to happen down here. You can never take anything for granted, and always step on the field like it could be your last time.
And look, he has a sense of humor:
Hello again all -- Christmas week with me -- your favorite pitcher in the San Diego Padres system (unless you have family playing ball then second favorite)!
The only thing is, if you click on the "Email Sean Thompson" link, you get denise@sandiegopadres.net. That makes sense. God forbid minor league baseball diarists get harassed by overzealous minor league fans.
Of course, Denise might be Thompson's Ibn Warraq. Now that'd be something.
POSTSCRIPT: This is one of the funniest things I've read all week. The guys at Fire Joe Morgan every so often manage to top themselves.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
The Big Donkey leads Major League ass-kicking
Where do we start?
Do we start by mentioning that Billy Butler is the youngest player to drive in six runs since Alex Rodriguez did it in 1996?
Or that Jorge De La Rosa and Neal Musser combined for nine innings to give the bullpen some much-deserved rest?
Or asking if anyone remembers when the Mariners were the hottest team in baseball just two days ago?
Or by pointing out that last year the R

oyals had exactly zero games in which they scored 17 runs, and that so far this year they've had three?
Kauffman Stadium: Where the Ships Die.The fireworks were out last night, but the 28,140 in attendance didn't have to wait until the end of the game -- played in a brisk two hours and 51 minutes -- to see it. The Royals scored six in the 1st -- bases loaded walk, sacrifice fly by Alex Gordon, three-run home run by Butler, solo homer by Jason LaRue -- and kept tacking on runs as the game tracked ahead. Four in the 2nd, three in the 4th, three in the 6th and another in the 7th. If you're keeping score at home, that makes 17.
Kansas City 17, Seattle 3. Look like a football score?
Royals 17, Mariners 3 -- just so we're clear.
It got so bad for our friends from the northwest that interim manager John McLaren considered putting a reserve outfielder on the mound.
At this moment I don't have time to explain what it is about this team that makes me love baseball twice over, but I'll leave you with the comments from a reader of Joe Posnanski's recent Octavio Dotel column: "I'll go down saying, this is the most fun I've ever had watching a Royals club." That seems like a common sentiment among fans, and if you don't know what the fuss is all about, you're missing out.
The best news? The horizon looks only clearer. Here're two examples: Brian Bannister was tabbed the AL's Rookie of the Month for June, and the Royals' recent first-round draft choice, Mike Moustakas, has been named Baseball America's high school Player of the Year.
Happy Fourth of July, indeed. It's hard to imagine the fireworks tonight will beat what we saw yesterday, but the Royals just might be sweeping the erstwhile hottest team in baseball, and that should be motivation enough to take in the game. America's most time-honored sport on the nation's birthday, with tailgating before and fireworks after -- do we realize... really realize, I mean... how good we have it here?
Anyway, RTC Talk, a nice blog I recently discovered (I've updated the blog roll -- you'll see several new blogs on there, actually), has an inspiring video of fireworks over The K that's worth checking out.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Our King is better than your King
INTERLUDE: We're not sure if King Felix, as he's called in the northwest, refers to himself as such, but according to Wikipedia, the nickname was given to him by the rascals over at U.S.S. Mariner in 2003, when he was still in the minors.
I should note here that USSM, a fine weblog that I linked to yesterday, posted this on the true king, the one and only Gilgamesh, in May. It's an entry that expresses high skepticism of his hot start -- you remember: 1.91 ERA, 47 K's to 16 walks, etc. -- even while conceding that, "Right now, it looks like everyone who said he had 'ace stuff' and potential were right, and we were wrong." I know we're only halfway done, but when can Royals fans unite under the banner I-Told-You-So?
Meche and Hernandez both gave up two quick runs, but each settled down to work into the 7th. Meche went 6.1 and gave up five hits and three walks with one strikeout. Hernandez was slightly better, going eight innings while allowing five hits and one walk and striking out five.
It was Meche's team, however, that was favored by the gods. David DeJesus led off the 11th inning with a double, then got bunted over by Mark Teahen, No. 3 in the batting order and one of the best hitters on the team. If he didn't execute the bunt, my laptop would be five floors down, shattered on the sidewalk right now. Who bunts with their No. 3 hitter? In any case, the next batter -- pinch hitter Emil Brown, the last body on the Royals' bench -- hit a deep fly to center to bring home the winning run.
3-2 in 11... say goodbye to Seattle's eight-game winning streak and hello to interim manager John McLaren, who, if he retired today, would hold a pristine losing percentage of 100.
Royals manager Buddy Bell, for his part, wasn't satisfied with how long it took to pull out the win. Three times his team had a potential walk-off run in scoring position with less than two outs, and only on the third try did someone come through.
"We need to be more aggressive in those situations," Bell said -- which, I hope, doesn't really mean, "We need to be more aggressive at the plate." Perhaps he was referring to the play in the 9th, when Teahen singled with Esteban German on second and third base coach Brian Poldberg -- correctly, I thought -- decided to hold German.
"I think we tend to be too particular with our strike zone," Bell continued. "And we just have to be more aggressive. The problem with a young team a lot of times is that they don't quite understand that the pitchers the one that's in trouble. The hitters not the one in trouble."
[As of 2:08 a.m., Yahoo hasn't corrected those blatant possessive-s errors, so for the time being, we'll rectify the situation by saying, SIC and SIC.]
I'm not sure I agree with Bell, but hey, the Royals' best hitter laid down a bunt to set up the walk-off sacrifice fly, so what do I know.
I know Gil Meche is a winner, that's what.
POSTSCRIPT: The Internet is a wacky, screwed up place -- don't ever let your kids near it. Dave Chappelle once did a skit in which he imagined he walked into a mall that was "The Internet," though I think he got it wrong; the Internet is less like a mall than a crowded flea market, where the people who lobby for attention by peddling junk and speaking gobbly-gook far outnumber the legitimate merchants. Take this website, which I came across while surfing for articles on our conquering hero. Here's an excerpt:
Time will tell whether the daughters of Iraq become the Mothers of God,
of if they descend again to the darkness of Hades....
It kind of goes on like that for a while.
POSTSCRIPT 2: Bay Area columnist apologizes for this (see PS 2).
Monday, July 2, 2007
Gil Meche, crown All-Star, takes mound tonight
Ah, how things change. This year's Midsummer Classic will be graced by a worthy Kansas City representative, who shall be known as...
Bow down to the King.
Our friends at The Gil Meche Experience have yet to celebrate this momentous occasion, but I can only assume they will after they recover from their polyphonic spree.
Meche the All-Star (5-6, 3.28 ERA, 83 strikeouts) is in action tonight against Seattle's Felix Hernandez, who, if you haven't heard, is also pretty good. Not an All-Star though, not like The Meche. Neither august nor ascendant like our conquering hero.
Expect a pitcher's duel nonetheless.
George Jones does not sing for Mike Hargrove
Kansas City, here we come.
Having just read Frank Deford's baseball novel The Entitled, I couldn't help but see the similarities between Hargrove and one of the main characters in the book, Cleveland Indians manager Howie Traveler, who's described as "a displaced person. Baseball had cost him any sense of home." Hargrove -- a former Indians manager, incidentally -- seems to have made his decision partly because he misses home, or misses the feeling of being rooted to some sense of normalcy. A reporter asked him what he plans to do now that he'll be out of the game, one in which he's been a part of in a professional capacity for 37 years. "You know," Hargrove said, "my wife, Sharon and I, in the last 10 days, have probably talked more than we've talked in the last 10 years. That was neat." He may have had a follow-up thought, but he got choked up and left the subject on the table.
We might not know exactly how big a factor Sharon Hargrove was in her husband's decision, but interestingly enough, she was semi-profiled in a Seattle Times feature two years ago titled, "For better or for worse: The life of a coach's wife." There's this revealing excerpt, about after Hargrove was fired from Baltimore and spent a year at home, unemployed:
First she had to tell him it was fine to throw the peanut shells on the floor at the ballpark. Then she had to explain that tiki lamps shouldn't be used as supports for tomato plants. And lunch?
"I was rushing around the house busy with something, and he was sitting in the chair asking when lunch was," Sharon says. "I said, 'Mike, I married you for better or for worse, not for lunch. You can get up and make your own sandwich.' "
Hey, if the man's excited about journeying into that great unknown called domestic life, then by all means, godspeed.
During the press conference, Hargrove would every so often reveal details about his life -- rather intimate details, considering how much baseball people usually tell you -- that suggested he truly was done. No point in saving any more quotes, analogies, one-liners, anecdotes, whatever, for that illustrious national magazine...
"I've always been viewed, by the people that know me superficially, as somebody that's laid back and kind of goes along, gets along," he said. "I think if you talk to the people who really know me, from the time I was a little boy to the time now, you would find that that's not the case at all. That I have an extremely bad temper. And the good Lord has blessed me and that it doesn't last very long. So I'm not necessarily the calm, placid person that you see. It's kind of like the duck on the water that's real calm but his feet are paddling real hard underneath. So, anyway... yeah, Jim?"
The excellent U.S.S. Mariner blog offers its two cents.
"If I can't give [the players] my best, I'm harming them," Hargrove said. "And I can't do that." If his "harming them" equates to eight straight wins, then, for the sake of the Royals, less harming, please. The Mariners come to town today to open up a three-game set, with bench coach John McLaren taking the helm.
This will be a good series, I feel.





