Viva El Birdos, indeed

If you're in need of a chuckle today, go check out SB Nation's Cardinals blog, like these comments. But don't linger too long, you might start feeling an odd combination of sadness, bemusement and sympathy.

An amazing statistic via Joe Posnanski

In the book Jitterbug Perfume, which is the sort of book that so poignantly asks all the universe's most important questions (e.g., life, death) that even if you hate Tom Robbins, you'll appreciate and respect this work, the caprine god Pan slowly dematerializes as fewer and fewer people believe in him. It's how gods "die," as he puts it.

Our coverage of these Royals is kind of like that: slowly disappearing, soon incomplete sentences and broken links.

But this is too good to not share: Joe Poz, near the end of a really hilarious column for SI:

I'm going to give you an amazing statistic about Kansas City Royals pitcher Zack Greinke. He is, unquestionably, the best pitcher in the American League. He leads the league in ERA, complete games, WHIP and home runs per nine innings. He is second in strikeouts, and fifth in walks per game.

No, I haven't given you the amazing statistic yet.

He leads the league in shutouts. He has made 20 starts where he allowed two runs or less, most in the American League. He has made 24 starts where he allowed three runs or less, most in the American League. He has only had two starts all year where he has given up five runs in a game.

No, haven't given you the stat. Not yet.

Greinke's first 10 starts, he had an 0.84 ERA. His last five starts, he has a 1.38 ERA. Greinke himself has a higher slugging percentage (.333) than the right-handed batters who have faced him this year (.318).

And no, that's not the stat either. Here's the stat that will blow your mind.

The Kansas City Royals have a losing record in games that Zack Greinke has started this season.

Catching up, kind of

In the context of recent Royals events, my last two posts could not have been more off the mark. I understand this, trust me. They were deliberately -- and I'm just throwing out a few words here -- mild-tempered, light-hearted, tongue-in-cheek, non-Royals-related. On the other hand, as far as I can tell, the prevailing attitude among bloggers and commentators falls somewhere between exasperation and resignation, or, on a slightly different axis, rage and despair. The fallout to the Yuniesky Betancourt trade has been damn near nuclear, and let's just say someone ought to check if Rany's still alive after his upcoming visit to the K. (His blog's tagline: "July 10th, 2009. The day the music died.")

I had no idea, however, the extent of the animosity towards the Royals' front office until I spent a couple hours today trolling the blogosphere (with a VPN, of course, as Blogger's blocked in China). Just click on any random link in my blogroll and you'll see (Royals Review has been leading the charge, e.g., here, here and here). The line of disgust and antipathy and -- could it really be? -- hatred has been sunk so deep that even some blog readers have begun to cringe and ask something to the effect of, "Eek... really?"

A sampling of the comments to Rany's 4,254-word renunciation of his fanhood:

Travis: Bull shit. I don't buy you're quiting on the Royals. As much as I like your blog, I'm not begging you to keep writing it. We don't need diehards giving up whenever they get pissed. It's one thing to bitch about the Royals moves, it's another to quit on your team for good. Calm down, have a shot of whiskey, and lets hope for some more moves at the deadline.

jason y: its a sad day to be a royals fan....but how is that different from any other day? when you're at the bottom the only place to go is up. dont lose faith.

(This one is kind of awesome) Keith: Rany, I kept checking your blog Friday night. I thought perhaps you pulled the plug on the whole thing. As an almost casual fan I was bothered by the trade immediately. If I've heard of Cortes then he must be valuable. This is clearly a lost season and I thought it was time to unload contracts and pick up players for the future. I've quit the Chiefs but the Royals are still meaningful. I think it helps not to care too much. Family and friends are whats really important.

Scott: And I also agree with Travis. You can't just give up. It doesn't work that way. I'm 27 years old (Betancourt's age! And I'm not nearly near my peak, thank you very much) and have never known the Royals to be good. Ever. But, here I sit, just waiting for what will definitely be one of the greatest moments of my life when the Royals finally "find a nut."

stpat: ...All I can say is stick with them, if for no other reason than to give us (the Fans) a legit voice.

Ryan: I don't really see the big deal. It's not like they traded Hosmer or Aaron Crow or someone like that. Also, unlike the Jacobs deal, it's not like they are blocking someone better on the farm with this deal either. I really don't see it having that much of a negative impact. Maybe it costs Glass some money if he continues to tank but I don't really care about that. Someone other that TPJ has got to play short and I don't see any other options out there.

And another thing, I'm sick of hearing people talk about I'm not going to anymore games, I'm done with this team, I'm not wearing anymore Royals gear.......good. I'm with Travis and Scott. We don't need you around making ridiculous claims about your loyalty. If you leave, stay gone. I don't want to see you back when the tide turns. And it will turn.....

Matt Berger: Rany im 20 years old, ive never really seen a winning Royals season 2003 doesn't really count. I want to give up, I want to stop caring but I can't and I haven't so you can't either. Might I suggest you keep being critical and hope you're comments reach ears who belong to someone in position to make decisions. You have a bully pulpit keep using it. I look forward to meeting you Saturday.

So on and so forth.

I admit I did not read all 134 comments (I will never understand what would ever motivate someone, like ejfunk, to write a near-500-word response to a blog post; I mean that in the best way possible). I will also admit that despite the many affirmations of loyalty to the Kansas City Royals, I was still dismayed, or unconvinced of one thing or another. What that thing is exactly I can't or don't want to articulate. I feel as if the world's blown up and I was on the moon.

Here's the thing: when you live somewhere that's removed from baseball, you lose touch with the rhythm of the season. You forget if those 1-0 losses were pitched by Brian Bannister or Zack Greinke, or if Luke Hochevar's still in the rotation, or why the name "Bruce Chen" is in the box score. I check the scores every morning and feel a distinct pang of disappointment when I see the Royals have lost, an unmistakable pick-me-up, like the first sip of fresh-brewed coffee (in terrifically short supply here), when they've won, but still -- you lose perspective. You find yourself clicking on "standings" every other week, something you shouldn't need to if you're watching Baseball Tonight every other day.

And it is here that I admit that until today, when I had the good fortune to read the blogosphere's reactions, the Betancourt trade didn't bother me all that much. I didn't think much of it. I read Bob Dutton's article and felt it disingenuous to some degree, but I really didn't think it worth my time to fuss over yet another trade of a couple minor leaguers for a middling position player.

Now I wonder...

Those who run counter to the zeitgeist risk inducing something much worse than irrelevance, a pit where this blog has been fast descending (damn you, Great Firewall of China) -- disdain. I don't want that. Those who sigh and curse, pound their fists and wring their hands while following this maddening yet beautiful, wonderfully intricate and fascinating game deserve better than yet another loathsome Royals commentator.

In other words, I'm not entirely sure whether In Dayton We Trust has a place in this current landscape. We're taking a vacation until the steam evaporates off Royals Land.

I won't go so far as to quote Keith -- "Family and friends are what's really important" -- but right now I am going to slip on my flip-flops, walk to the convenience store and buy an ice cream cone.

Zack Greinke wins the All-Star game

Roy Halladay really sucked, huh? Compared to Greinke at least.

Z Greinke

1.0

0

0

0

0

2

0

10-8

0.00

And look: wit!

JAYSON STARK: Yeah, not to suggest it's been a while since the American League lost an All-Star Game or anything, but after the AL had ripped yet another All-Star triumph off its relentless July assembly line Tuesday night, we couldn't find a single member of this year's AL All-Stars who could correctly answer the following straightforward trivia question:

Do you even remember the last time the National League won an All-Star Game?

...

On and on it went, nobody quite recalling, until Royals pitcher Zack Greinke decided to get sneaky -- and turn the tables on us by asking US a question.

"The last time they won one," he wondered, "who played in it?"

Hmmm. We hadn't actually done the research on THAT question yet. So we guessed -- incorrectly, by the way -- that it was at least possible that Derek Jeter had.

"Yeah," Greinke laughed. "And probably Stan Musial, too."

And lest you forget, Greinke is more or less Mr. Daytona Beach USA.

POSTSCRIPT: Apologies to these Royals blogs, which should've been on my blogroll long before now: Everything Royals, Tangled Up in (Royal) Blue and Royals Primacy. And if you're wondering, yes, I recently learned about at least two of the above due to the Yuniesky Betancourt trade. See, there is something positive to come out of it, and we haven't even given it time to play out yet.

"If I had a good curveball I wouldn't be president"

From Jeff Caple, ESPN -- Ichiro's come a long way since "two rats screwing in a wool sock," hasn't he?

"My idea, when I saw him, was to say, 'What's up?' to him,'' Ichiro said through the Mariners team interpreter. "But I got nervous. You know, he has that kind of aura about him. So I got nervous and I didn't say that to him. I was a little disappointed about that. But I realized after seeing him today that presidents wear jeans, too. So my hope is that our skipper, Don Wakamatsu, was watching that and we can wear jeans on our flights as well.''

And the NL fails yet again.

POSTSCRIPT: Taking votes now -- Obama in blue jeans: cooler than this?


Because this is pretty damn cool.

The reason Twitter was invented

Matt Wieters Doesn't Take Pitches...He Shows Them Mercy.

Albert Pujols’ Mother Drafted Matt Wieters First Overall In Her Fantasy League.

Matt Wieters Can Switch-hit From All Five Sides Of The Plate.

In the First Jurassic Park Movie, The Tyrannosaurus Wasn't Chasing The Jeep. Matt Wieters was Chasing The Tyrannosaurus.

Matt Wieters Facts.

We checked www.ZackGreinkeFacts.com. URL not taken, surprisingly.

Zack Greinke Is The Reason The Suicide Rate Is 95 Percent Among Americans Named Zach.

POSTSCRIPT: Recommended.

Poor A-Rod

Watching Gilgameche against the Angels, and in the bottom of the 1st we got this classic exchange about Alex Rodriguez:

Angels announcer 1 (paraphrasing): That says a lot, with all the distractions and the pressure, to step up and hit a home run in your first time up.

Angels announcer 2, without missing a beat: Somebody probably tipped him to what was coming.

And that's only one of the reasons I'm enjoying this telecast. Another: Meche is much better than Matt Palmer.

UPDATE, minutes later: I hate MLB.tv.

Your read for the day: Rany

Game on.:

I think that the city is ready to embrace this team. Last night’s game garnered a 7.5 rating, the highest in the history of Fox Sports Kansas City. The previous highest-rated game was…the game before, with a 6.4 rating.

More on Zack Greinke

Minda at Royals Authority:

And...I can't even believe what a big number I'm about to type here...remember that MLB average is 100, and last year's Cy Young winners Cliff Lee and Tim Lincecum had ERA+ of 175 and 167, respectively.

OK, are you ready? Zack Greinke's ERA+ is 1173. Yeah, four digits. One thousand, one hundred seventy-three.

Rany:

Greinke has four starts in his career with 10 strikeouts and no walks. Every other pitcher to suit up for the Royals in their history has combined for four such starts: one by Gordon, one by Gubicza, one by Johnson, and one by Rich Gale.

Sam Mellinger, KC Star:

It’s an hour or so before Zack Greinke’s first pitch, and Billy Butler is talking to a teammate.

“I’m guaranteeing a shutout tonight,” Butler says. “What do you think?”

Joe Posnanski:

This from brilliant reader Rob: Dating back to last year, Greinke has won nine consecutive starts, and in those nine starts he has an 0.69 ERA. How good is that? Well, legendary. There have been 50 pitches since 1954 who have won nine or more consecutive starts. Greinke’s is the second-best.*

*The best of those by ERA?

1. Bob Gibson, 1968: 12-0, 0.50 ERA.
Note for posterity: Gibson completed all 12 of those games.

2. Zack Greinke, 2008-09: 9-0, 0.69 ERA

POSTSCRIPT: From Posnanski, a trip down memory lane to 2003.

An absolutely tremendous win

Down four runs two different times, then down 7-4 with three to play... and a win in 11.

Ozzie Guillen's still staring, blankly, into the long abyss.

Lots of Royals commentators have been saying the game vs. the Twins a few days back, which the Royals also won in 11, was one the team had no business winning, in fact would not have won last year, three years ago, 10 years ago.... I put tonight's contest in the same category. Consider:

• The team drew 11 walks, with Coco Crisp walking on four straight plate appearances, often after being down 1-2 in the count.
• The team's crucial sixth run was scored after consecutive walks, both on 3-2 counts (credit Crisp with that RBI... I should mention here that he is, officially, now my favorite player; after he stole second base in the 8th, I could've sworn he was going to score the go-ahead run).
• Talk about picking up your starter: Kyle Davies gave up six runs in four innings; the bullpen went seven while allowing just one (how 'bout Jamie Wright's three scoreless? That's a good night's work. On a related note: is Joakim Soria still okay?)
• And talk about picking up your starter (which is exactly what these players have talked about recently, actually): John Buck, hitless in his five previous at-bats, singles in the walk-off run with two outs after Mike Jacobs failed to get it done.

The list goes on, but in conclusion, this was, from start to finish, one of the most remarkable wins of the season. In the early-going, this was the sort of game you wouldn't have minded losing, insofar as that's ever possible. You fall behind 4-0 and 7-4 and wonder whether you shouldn't just be happy to leave still in first place. But the Royals battled and scrapped -- not to use this most anathema of words, but the Royals really scrapped -- and, sometime around the middle innings, you somehow felt something would change. That the White Sox, obviously inferior, would break. And then it occurs to you: these Royals are different from all the others you've known and followed and loathed. These guys are actually good.

If this team -- the 2009 Royals -- don't revert to their old form -- in other words, if they play like they played tonight -- they will contend from here till late September. Perhaps some of you have known this for a while now (a week?). After today, I see it -- and I would have sooner if not for MLB.tv's frustratingly inconsistent streaming. I believe. And I don't mean it like we all meant it in 2003, with that silly catchphrase -- this time I believe with reason.

POSTSCRIPT: Want to know what separates a good Major League hitter from a decent one who somehow rakes in the minors but can never seem to break through? This was actually something one of the Royals broadcasters said, but it was illustrated in tonight's game: the ability to take a strike, i.e. the confidence to hit while down in the count. Major Leaguers can put the same kind of swing on a 1-2 fastball as a 2-1. The moment that brought this to light for me was Mitch Maier's at-bat in the 8th, with Crisp on third, Mark Teahen on first and two out. The pitcher, Scott Linebrink, had walked Crisp earlier and obviously wasn't exhibiting great control. The first pitch was a ball. And then Maier, perhaps feeling he needed to justify himself because the White Sox had elected to intentionally walk Teahen, swung on the 1-0 count and flied out, ending the rally. It was exactly the sort of at-bat his teammates weren't taking all night and the sort the Royals resorted to all the time before this year.

Not saying Maier doesn't belong -- I like him as much as the next guy. Maybe just that there's a reason it took him so long to make it to the big-league team.