A raffle for those who harbor a secret desire to look like canaries

For this jersey:



None other than Rob Neyer, who is to the Kansas City Royals as Ernest Hemingway is to the New York Yankees, wants you to have it.

Like, really, really wants you to have it. As he writes on Paul Lukas's Uni Watch website:

OMFG. Trust me: As bad as those jerseys might look in the photos, when you’re holding one in your hands it looks much, much worse. Oh, there’s nothing terribly wrong with the basic design, especially if you’re not averse to bright yellow and Royal blue. But what I couldn’t see from my upper-deck perch was that all the emblems and numbers on the jerseys were ironed on, just like cheap T-shirts. I couldn’t see that the fabric was some beastly synthetic not designed for laying against one’s skin [that would be nylon Dazzle, more commonly found in the NBA — PL]. What I also didn’t know is that my $75 didn’t get me the Royal blue undershirt. And let me tell you, without the undershirt the jersey was not only unwearable, but practically unbearable, too.

Apparently, after watching the Royals in those yellow jerseys in a game in Seattle in 1998, Neyer entered an auction and won one of those things for $75. He had bid on Jose Rosado's jersey because, as he writes, "I didn’t figure I could afford Johnny Damon’s jersey, and because I didn’t know just how good Sal Fasano would someday become (yes, that’s a joke). Rosado, meanwhile, was only 23, and just one year earlier he’d been Kansas City’s lone All-Star."

And then he realized the horrible mistake he made, and after several years, he donated his prize to Uni Watch.

And now it's available, via raffle, to the rest of us.

I must have that jersey. MUST. So if you want to do me a favor, DON'T enter this raffle.

POSTSCRIPT: I'm adopting the Rockies for the month. They won their 11th straight game Thursday night and now open a home series against the Diamondbacks, who lead the NL West by one over San Diego and two over Colorado. Want to hear a loud ovation? Try later tonight, when the Rockies return home for the first time in a week and get welcomed like conquering heroes.