Are you bald? Do you sport constant bed head? Bad haircuts pretty much a guarantee? Not happy with the latest dye job? Is too much gray seeping through? Or, maybe you are simply just a hat collector?
Well, whatever the reason, you are in luck this weekend when the Royals host the Chicago White Sox and fans are treated to a hat-a-night at Kauffman Stadium!
That's right, the Royals are giving away a hat a day! Friday (visor), Saturday (cowboy hat) and Sunday (Buck O'Neil tribute cap)... take it from one who's gotten a hat from one of these giveaways (see right), you're getting high quality merchandise here.
And if that's not motivation enough to go to the ballpark, how's this: a four-game winning streak and fourth place on the line. The AL Central standings as of today:
Indians 46-32, 0.5 GB
Twins 40-37, 6 GB
White Sox 33-42, 12 GB
Royals 33-46, 14 GB
Oh, and All-You-Can-Eat seats debut tonight. I think the Dodgers were the first to come up with this idea, and other teams in baseball have picked it up as well, but it's never too late for Kansas City to join the party. There's an obesity joke here somewhere, especially since KC cracks the fat list at No. 9, but I'll let you come up with it.
I don't work for the Royals, I promise.
POSTSCRIPTS 1, 2 and 3:
- Frank Thomas (vastly underrated career) hit HR No. 500 yesterday, but he was overshadowed by Craig Biggio, who picked up his 3,000th hit in a 5-for-6 day. But that's not the best part. In the bottom of the 11th, after the Astros, playing at home, fell behind 5-4, Biggio came up with two outs. If Hollywood hadn't written this script, he would have grounded out and the game would be over. But Hollywood obviously had a hand in this, because, at age 59 or whatever, he legs out an infield single, kind of like Jake Taylor of Major League. Three batters later, with the bases loaded and still trailing by one, Carlos Lee hits a walk-off grand slam. An improbably dramatic ending.
- Billy Beane, here, performs one of the most professional public eviscerations you'll see anywhere. He was responding to a newspaper columnist who said, in no uncertain terms, that Milton Bradley -- you remember Milton Bradley, right? -- was released because he's black. Beane absolutely tears him a new one.
- I absolutely hated Chris Benoit when he "stole" a female promoter named Woman from Kevin Sullivan -- the woman's real-life ex-husband -- in a WCW storyline way back in the day, and I mean that as a compliment. Benoit was, until he became massively popular with the fans, one of the greatest wrestling heels I'd ever seen, always performing, it seemed, on the edge of some dangerous precipice. Well, as you may of heard, he leapt off that edge recently, murdering his wife Nancy, who was Woman, and their seven-year-old son before hanging himself. Now this incredible twist: an anonymous poster on Benoit's Wikipedia page announced that Nancy Benoit was dead 13 hours before authorities found her body. Amazing. Read about it here. The post came from Stamford, Conn., too, which is where the WWE is headquartered.