Wednesday, April 2, 2008

A pole, Mark?

This article from the KC Star, printed "in honor of the Kansas City Royals' home opener," is too good to save for Tuesday's home opener. Billy Butler reveals some of his teammates' interesting pregame rituals:

1. Right-fielder Mark Teahen stretches himself over a pole.

2. David DeJesus, center field, snarfs down a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “He thinks it gets him hits,” Butler said.

3. Butler mainlines “some kind of caffeine or coffee.”

4. Some of the guys huddle over a card game. “It just helps them relax,” he said.

5. They do reconnaissance and watch opponents’ game footage. “The hitters watch the starting pitcher,” Butler said, “and the pitcher will watch game tape of the team’s hitters.”

Is it just me, or does the use of quotation marks for "some kind of caffeine or coffee" immediately after the verb "mainlines" make this act sound sinister? I mean, yes, of course, mainline doesn't have to mean what most people think the word means, but... you know what I'm talking about, right? I'm pretty sure "mainline" commonly refers to the injection of heroine and other hard drugs directly into the veins. Here, let me check... pulling up the dictionary now... typetypetype... yup, there it is, first definition, to inject a narcotic.

Actually, everything on this list is pretty banal. What team doesn't play cards in the clubhouse? It is interesting, though, that while a lot of players try to relax over cards, Butler pounds the caffeine. Whatever works.

POSTSCRIPT: The long wait is over. Brian Bannister, everyone's favorite pitcher, takes the mound today in just a little over an hour. We'll be watching.

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