Thursday, October 4, 2007

Welcome, Baseball Prospectus readers!

So the estimable Will Carroll of Jenn Sterger fame has directed you here, eh? Well then. Let us say just this one thing while you're around... after all the words that were written about the Royals' "horrible" offseason signing, after all the letters and tears sent to this jester-king over at Salon, after all those message boards filled up with all that foolish claptrap...

We forgive you.

Gilgameche forgives you.

And, most importantly, the baseball gods forgive you.

For those who doubt man-myths like Gil Meche may as well doubt the heart of Optimus Prime, and gods do not like seeing those who walk among them thusly defiled.

But we all forgive you.

Finis. Optimus Prime lives. Gilgameche lives. Dayton Moore Our Hero lives. Trust lives. Royals baseball lives.

Jenn Sterger, thankfully, lives...

Photo by Tomasso DeRosa

POSTSCRIPT: For the record,
the bet was that Meche would end the season with a higher VORP than this guy.

And if you just clicked on the "this guy" link and came back... yes, Cubs fans,
we apologize... we apologize you haven't been to a World Series that wasn't affected by a World War since 1938 and haven't won one in 346 years, we apologize for the supposed curse(s) that makes your team so appealing to literatis, we apologize for the wind, the snow, the sleet in April, the fact that you couldn't win one for Harry and can't seem to win for Santo, for the sacking of Steve Stone, for letting Greg Maddux go... we apologize your hometown media still blames Bartman, we apologize you're about to be overtaken by corporate sharks and, most of all, we apologize your team paid $7 million for an October long reliever. So, again... sorry. Go, Cubs, go!

POSTSCRIPT 2: But let us unite in proclaiming the Cardinals' suckitude.


  1. How is football season going there in Missouri?

    (And before you mention the Bears, I'm in Indy native... so quite fine, thank you!)

    (And what is with the hostility out of you people this week? Sheesh.)

  2. So you really bet that Meche would have a higher VORP than Marquis? Isn't that like betting on a three-legged dog race? What's the point?

  3. if october's no time for raillery, I don't know when is. hey, being a baseball fan isn't supposed to be easy. in fact, it's the polar opposite of easy. first there's the daily grind of the looong season, then comes the postseason cauldron when every pitch feels like a punch to the sturnum... if you're lucky enough to get to the playoffs, that is.

    i guess what i'm trying to say is... it seems cubs fans have had it too easy these last couple weeks, what with their walkoff wins and singing and dancing and basking in chicago sunshine and go cubs go. and that just doesn't seem right. Cubs fans being happy because their team is winning scares me, makes me question the balance of the universe and the meaning of good and evil, whether good and evil even exists, whether karma keeps the good honest and evil down in the hole, whether we can trust in anything at all, whether literature will survive, whether the trajectory of human evolution is up-sloping after all. you know what I mean?

  4. A lot of your apologies make 0 sense but then so does living in Kansas City. I don't even know why I'm even replying cause once again you're a fan of the Kansas City Royals.

    I wish I could join you in proclaiming St. Louis' sucktitude but unfortunately they're a good team. If I remember they won the World Series last year.

    Nothing wrong with being bought out by corporate sharks. It's better than paying for all but 25 million of your 250 mil renovation of Kaufman Stadium. Let the wins come reeling in!