Royals Season Preview 10: Yard Work

Today's preview comes from Yard Work, a humor and satire site that's trying to write previews for all 30 MLB teams. The ideas on a lot of them are solid -- Jim Ross for the Tampa Bay Rays... nice -- but the execution leaves much to be desired. Take the Royals' preview...

Welcome to the latest installment of Yard Work’s 2008 Season Preview. Today’s preview comes from a currently defunct weblog [concerts.1111111kcrtickets.com/blog] whose content we assume is free for us to cut and paste into our own online publication that we do not consider a “blog” in the slightest. We’re using an incongruous pic of good old Max Headroom to accompany this post because we here at YWHQ are all children of the 80s, and we love to show pic-linking Flickr-ignorant bloggers and message boarders that we have more to offer their shiftless asses than second-hand candids of Larry Bowa and Anna Benson. Also, The Lawnmower Man was garbage. Enjoy!

First, Max Headroom... damn. We have nothing to say about that. Actually, we have one thing to say. Watch this video, and tell us that 1) Max Headroom isn't coked up, and 2) this, along with everything else, doesn't prove the '80s is a permanent, stinky, crusty stain on our American fabric.

Second... The Lawnmower Man? It can't be a coincidence that fellow Royals blogger RTC Talk calls Zack Greinke Lawnmower Man, and this site happens to be dissing The Lawnmower Man, right?

Third, they rickrolled Joe Posnanski's site into the supposedly defunct blog's URL.

I mean...

What?

Yup, it's that kind of review. It's surreal. It's dually unfunny and entertaining. It's ragingly sarcastic yet unironic (example: "Is this going to be the year of the Kansas City Royals baseball team to win another glorious championship? Some think so!"). It's horribly edited, yet somehow that fits. It's at times completely nonsensical, but... maybe that was the point? They drop names like the Jonas Brothers and Steely Dan, along with Riverdance, and... what? What???

We have no idea.

Maybe it all boils down to this one actualization, that moment when everything we've read comes to a hilt and all that we know, all our knowledge and all the world's, gets shot through our heads into some ethereal realm of understanding:

The thing was written in the voice of a salesman -- but not Max Headroom, unfortunately, that would have been cool.

Those are our words. See what Yard Work's making us write? We have no fucking clue.