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No sense beating around the bush here: the Royals are in for a tough series. They'll avoid Josh Beckett and Daisuke "Monster" Matsuzaka, but no such luck with Manny Ramirez, David Ortiz and Dustin Pedroia -- who all homered last night -- or this gaggle of Fenway faithful. (If you watch that video on a psychedelic drug, make sure you're wearing adult diapers.)
They call Red Sox fans a "Nation" -- recipient of the 2004 Sportsman of the Year -- capital N signifying innate metaphysical bonds that transcend geographic boundaries. With their benevolent field general and stately prime minister and massive blogger army they will troop across the free world vanquishing all foes with neither shame nor compassion. And flipping off the Yankees. Cute.
Yesterday that march was led by rookie pitcher Kason Gabbard -- yes, it's Kason, the same Kason that manufactures "vibratory, centrifugal and static screening equipment" -- who gave up just three hits and struck out eight in his complete game 4-0 win. Gabba Gabba -- who I like to call Yo Gabba Gabba -- has been nothing short of terrific at Fenway this year, and for good reason: what opponent wouldn't feel intimidated going there? Hell, I'm intimidated half the time attending Royals-Red Sox games in Kansas City. Alas, the namesake of the Ramones' first tribute album may find his days in Boston numbered -- perhaps involved in a future Octavio Dotel/Reggie Sanders trade?
The Royals counter with a rookie of their own today: Leo Nunez, who's making his first career start. In two previous appearances in Boston, Nunez is 0-1 with five earned runs in 1.1 innings, three walks, no strikeouts and one home run allowed. Good luck, kid. Remember, these guys are just like the Albuquerque Isotopes, only kind of bigger and most likely feral.
POSTSCRIPT: There's a crazy man in this video. Can you find him?