What they're saying now

Over the Monster

BEFORE

C'mon, Julian, please win this game for us. A series loss to the Royals? I can't take it, man. I know you've struggled lately, but we're facing the Royals. Yes, those Royals. You should be able to bowl every ball to first and still walk away with a 10 run lead.

AFTER (great link to YFSF)

This Royals pen has been one of the best in the Majors lately, and if you're not convinced of how tough a late-inning win is even against lesser bullpens, check out this post from YFSF from a couple days ago. If they're that hard to come by, expecting them against the likes of Dotel and Soria (the way they've been pitching lately) is almost entirely wishful thinking.

Surviving Grady

BEFORE (click on this link. Just do it, even if you a) don't like Jerry Remy, or b) like Bill Simmons)

Tonight, it's more fun with the Royals. Anything less than three wins in this series and I swear, I might just take the name of Dana Kiecker in vain.

AFTER

This is the sort of situation we should be taking advantage of. We should be marking these games as Ws before anyone even steps on the field; hell, they're the sort of games the players should just agree to not actually play, and instead go hang down at Daisy Buchanans. This is the team we should be beating soundly, followed-up by Lowell and Youk photocopying each other's asses and mailing 'em to the players' homes.

The Soxaholix (excellent all around)

A Red Sox Fan From Pinstripe Territory

BEFORE

Sox trail KC, 2-0. We better not lose a series to the Royals.

AFTER (look, a tmesis!)

Absolutely unbe-fucking-lievable.

Damn it feels good to be a gangster.